I Don't Want to Wake Up
by salidagirl
Summary: Tommy is gone and he left Jude to pick up the pieces on her own, but what if she can't? Picks up where season two left off
1. When Your Phone Don't Ring

**A/N: Hey guys, this is a story that I have been working on for a while now. I posted it on DLS a couple of months ago, but I thought I would put it up here for all of you guys to read. I obviously don't own Instant Star of any of the characters involved in the show. In fact, the only things I own are this story and the songs that are in it. Well, let me know what you guys think, and I promise to keep you guys updated.**

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Chapter 1 – When your phone don't ring 

_Have you ever watched someone walk, or rather drive away with part of your soul? Just broke down in the middle of the street as you watched your whole world shatter in the disappearing taillights? What do you do? Do you wait for someone to pick up the pieces, and try to put you back together, knowing that some of them are missing, do you hope that the only person who could and did break you will magically reappear and make everything right again, or so you just give up and wait for the world to end? What do you do when your chosen path doesn't change anything? You learn to say goodbye. Goodbye to everything you knew, including what you thought you knew about yourself. You get up and walk away with what is left, the pain, the sorrow, the guilt. You walk away and try to survive, because there is nothing else to do._

"Message number 316" Jude said, almost inaudibly. She felt something break in her already mangled heart. _Why am I doing this? _She sat with the phone pressed to her ear, just as she had the last 315 times. She felt nothing as she sat recording silence on Tommy's voicemail. She had gone through the whole spectrum of emotions in the last two weeks, all of them well documented in the saved messages box on Tom Quincy's phone. She had cried, begging him to tell her what she did that was so wrong that he would leave her like that. She had screamed, calling him every name in the book, and even a few that she wasn't so sure had existed before that message. She had laughed, trying to convince herself that it was all a joke. She thought she had experienced every possible emotion, but she had never felt like this. She was numb from head to toe, and there was only one thing left for her to say. "Goodbye."

Jude closed the phone, setting it down on her bed. She glanced over at the journal sitting on her desk. The journal he had bought her. She opened it up, rereading the quote on the inside "Most of us go to our grave with the music still inside of us." She then flipped through the pages, mesmerized by the blank sheets. She had never left a journal empty for this long, yet there it was, empty.

When Tommy left, Jude lost it. She ditched her release party to meet up with Mason on tour, only to get incredibly drunk with some guy she didn't even know. She tried to block out the sudden rush of memories from that night, not that there was much to remember. What she could remember was fuzzy, but most of it was just blank. That's what she hated about the memories, they weren't there, they were just a void.

But she lost more than a handful of memories the night that Tommy left, she lost herself. She had felt so together with Tommy, and when he left, it tore her apart. Everything she had known was gone, including the one thing that had always held her together, her music.

She turned back to the first page in the journal, and picked up a pen. There was nothing left to do, so she did the one thing she thought she would never be able to do again. She wrote.


	2. Felt Through a Phone Line

Chapter 2 – Felt through a phone line

A few thousand kilometers away the new message icon was blinking on Tommy's cell phone. He stared at it silently until the cell phone went dark once again. Then he sat in silence in the dark room, trying to work up the nerve to pick up the phone. He knew who the message was from, but he didn't have the courage to check it. Jude was the only one who left messages anymore. Everyone else, his best friend included, had given up after the first 20 messages. No one had heard from him, no one knew where he was, and yet she was still trying, she hadn't given up hope, and that was the only thing that kept him going.

Finally, Tommy couldn't take it anymore; he picked up the phone, wondering what kind of message she had left. He had felt her go through every emotion over the phone, anger, sadness, denial, and it broke his heart every time he listened to one of the messages. There were the messages that contained words that Tommy hadn't even known were in Jude's vocabulary, the ones that made Tommy, who wasn't even in the same country as Jude look over his shoulder in fear. Jude was a force to reckon with when she was angry, and Tommy had never heard anger that deep before. Occasionally she would leave a message with an empty laugh, babbling half to herself that he was the king of the practical joke, that he had gotten her good, and he would show up the next day and everyone would have a good laugh. The hardest messages for Tommy though were the ones where Jude let the sadness show through.

Jude had always been able to put her heart and soul behind every word she sang, bringing her audience, and Tommy, to the brink of tears. These messages were no different. It crushed his heart when he heard her pleading with him, asking him to tell her what was wrong with her, why he didn't want to love her. Every word was filled with unshed tears, and Tommy had cried them all for her. Truth was, he did want to love her, he wanted that more than anything, but his world had changed, and he was afraid he couldn't go back.

"You have one unheard message" he heard the automated voice say. He held his breath, trying to brace himself for whatever emotion was about to sweep through him via his voicemail inbox.

"Message number 316," He heard Jude's voice through the receiver. The sound in her voice was something he hadn't heard before, and he struggled to place it. It was sad, but empty at the same time. There was no anger left in her voice, it was just empty. _Defeat_. Tommy thought silently _Defeat is the only thing left in her voice._ His heart fell as he waited to hear something else, but his sinking heart was met only with silence. Just as he was about to close his cell phone, he heard the one word he had hoped she would never say. "Goodbye"

The cell phone fell from Tommy's hand hitting the carpeted floor and silently snapping shut. Staring at it, Tommy felt his heart shattering. _She has given up on me. The only person to ever believe in me has given up. _He thought silently, before silent tears rolled down his face. He cried, not for himself, but for Jude. He was to blame for the pain, the sadness, and most of all, the emptiness in her voice. He had put it there, by leaving her to face the world alone. He had hurt her and now he would cry for her.


	3. All That's Left Behind

Chapter Three – All that's left behind

Kwest sat in the studio, ready to scream. Tommy had left the without so much as a goodbye, leaving everyone to deal with all of the problems he left behind. It was really taking a toll on Kwest, both physically and emotionally. Since Tommy bailed, G-Major had shifted almost all of Tommy's artists to Kwest, keeping him on a dead run at work. When he did have a moment to breathe it was interrupted by someone wanting to know where his 'best friend' had run off to. _If I knew, I would drag his ass back here to fix this mess._ Kwest thought.

Truth was, Kwest could handle the work overload and the constant questions, it was what Tommy's absence was doing to Jude that was killing him. He was one of the few people who had seen Jude since Tommy had left, and he knew how much she was going through. He had sat with Sadie countless nights, trying to comfort Jude. He had even tried to convince her to come back and sing, knowing that music was her way of dealing with things. The sadness in her voice when she told him no had made Kwest want to hunt Tommy down.

_Flashback_

_"Why don't you come by the studio Jude, we can work on some songs."_

_"I can't Kwest; I can't even open my journal anymore. Not without Tommy. He's gone, and so is my music."_

_"Don't say that, the music is in you, and you are still here."_

_"No Kwest I'm not, I am not here anymore, I don't even know where I am. I'm just empty." Jude broke down, falling to her knees, and Kwest was immediately by her side, comforting her. "I need Tommy, Kwest."_

_"I know"_

_"Tell Darius I can't work. Please?"_

_"Sure thing, Jude. If you need anything, you know where I'm at Jude, no matter what, I will be here."_

_"Thanks Kwest"_

_End Flashback _

A week and a half had gone by since their conversation and everyone at G-major was feeling bad about Jude. Darius had agreed to give her as much time as she needed to deal with what she needed to. Mason had been to Jude's at least a dozen times, trying to cheer her up. Kwest had to give him a little credit; he had managed to get something that slightly resembled a smile out of her when he told her about Spied and the boys accidentally dying their hair pink. Sure, it wasn't much, but it was more than anyone else managed to accomplish

Kwest's train of thought was interrupted when several sour notes came out of the sound booth. "You're flat" he snapped to the artist behind the microphone as he reset the track for another take. The 14th take to be exact, and every one had been flat. As soon as he counted the artist down, he let out a sigh. "I just wish Jude was here."

Kwest spun the chair around so he was looking out the window that faced the lobby. It seemed so normal, interns running around, SME chasing one another around, Jude walking through the front doors, guitar in hand. _Wait a second, Jude?_ His eyes widened as he jumped up from the chair. She was here. Jude was back at G-major. Kwest turned around as the artist finished her song. "Take a break" he said, before running out the door.

"Jude, I am so happy you are here-" Kwest stopped when he saw the look in her eyes. Sadness mixed with desperation. "What's wrong Jude?"

"I need your help." She said quietly, as though she wasn't sure what she was saying.

"Anything"

"I need to record. Now"

"But Jude, I thought you said you couldn't- not without-" Now he was the one who wasn't sure what he was trying to say

"I know what I said, but I need to record this now, we can talk when I'm done." With that, she walked into the studio and sat down behind the microphone.


	4. Goodbye in Gasoline

Chapter 4 – Goodbye in Gasoline

Jude sat down quickly, afraid that she would run back out the door if she didn't. She couldn't, she needed to get this out, no matter how hard it was, she needed to get it out, before it killed her. She looked up at Kwest, who seemed unsure of what to do. He wanted to help, but he wasn't sure where to start. Jude took a deep breath and started for him.

"I finally wrote something, Kwest, and now I need to get it out, I have to. I'm numb and I can't take it anymore, I need to feel something. Anything. I have to do it now, before I lose my nerve." Truth was, she had already lost her nerve, dozens of times. She had stared at the lyrics for hours last night, begging them to disappear. When dawn broke, she made up her mind that she needed to sing the words, to make them feel real, but she couldn't make a sound. She had driven to G-Major only to circle the block ten times as she tried to convince herself to park the car. She got to the door, only to turn around when she touched it. It took her half an hour to make it three feet inside of G-Major, and now she was sitting in the booth, willing her journal to burst into flames. Not that it would matter; the words were engrained in her memory.

"Okay Jude, whenever you are ready" Kwest said softly. She seemed so fragile, and he didn't want to do anything to upset her.

"I'm ready, just don't stop me until the song it over, I don't think I can do this twice." she said, looking down at the floor.

"Alright, 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. Go," he mouthed through the soundproof glass. Jude began to play soft mournful notes on the guitar. Soon her voice joined the guitar, just as softly, and filled with sadness. Kwest sat mesmerized by the song.

I always swore I'd never

Say goodbye to you

Never give up on us

Admit that it was through

But as time goes by I see myself

Dying more each day

If I want to see the sunrise

I think I have to say

Goodbye

To the other half of me

Goodbye

I'm broken can't you see

That I might die

If I don't try

To carry on alone

Goodbye

I can't believe you're gone

I'm lost without you

But it seems that you're lost too

And If I don't try

Don't say goodbye

I won't make it through

But half of me

Will always be

With you

Goodbye

To the other half of me

Goodbye

I'm broken can't you see

That I might die

If I don't try

To carry on alone

Goodbye

I can't believe you're gone

Goodbye is all I said

Through tears that go unshed

The pain that can't be seen

In Message 316

As Jude finished the song, her voice was barely a whisper. She sat in the sound booth, feeling as though she had just let out the breath she had been holding for weeks. But when she let it out, all of the emotion came back in, invading her body and filling it with anger, sadness, guilt, and regret, everything that she hadn't been able to feel five minutes before. She felt herself sigh in relief. She could deal with the pain, no matter how bad it hurt, it was better than being numb. At least when you were hurting, you knew that you were still alive.

Jude's thoughts were interrupted when Kwest held up the finished cd. "Wow, Jude that was amazing. It's so raw and emotional. Darius is going to love it." Kwest said, getting ready to play the song back for Jude to hear.

"Wait. Don't." Jude said. She couldn't hear it, it was hard enough to say goodbye, but to listen to it over again. She just couldn't do it. "I'm not ready to hear that song, Kwest. I had to get it out, but I am not ready to let it back in. I can't." Her voice quavered, her words were strong. He looked at her, and saw something in her eyes that hadn't been there before she sang the song, emotion. Granted, it was mostly sadness, but at least it was there. When he had looked at them in the lobby they had been empty, now there was sadness.

"Okay" he nodded. The song was amazing, something the whole world should hear, but the world would have to wait until Jude was ready. He labeled the cd and put it on the shelf. _Someday that song is going to move people all over the world._ he thought. _Someday._

"So did you miss me?" Jude said timidly, trying her best to smile.

"Yeah, it just hasn't been the same without you Jude. I mean it. I know you are feeling lost right now, but we need you and you need this." Kwest said, looking down at Jude.

"I know." Se said quietly. He was right; she did need this, as much as it hurt to be here without Tommy, she needed to sing. She needed it to feel alive. "I still can't do it without Tommy though. I mean he's gone, but there won't be a day that he isn't here with me. He's always been my inspiration, and I can't change that. I don't want to change that." Kwest nodded at Jude, he understood. It was going to take time and a lot of tears, but Jude was going to get through it, she always did.

"Hey Kwest?" Jude said, interrupting the comfortable silence between the two. He looked at her, matching her questioning glance with one of his own. "Promise me something."

"Anything." Kwest said, and he meant it. He would do whatever he could to ease this girl's pain.

"Don't let me quit, okay. No matter what, don't let me let go of my music." She said. She looked almost afraid that she was asking too much, but the worry disappeared when Kwest wrapped his arms around her, giving her the one thing she need most, support.

"Never" He whispered.


	5. I'm Nowhere and You're Everything

Chapter 5 – I'm Nowhere and You're Everything

Leaning against the wall in a stark white hallway, Tommy pulled out his cell phone. He stared at the screen, trying to find the courage to dial. It had been a long night, and it was showing through on Tommy's face. He was pale, making the circles under his eyes look even darker. His eyes themselves were rimmed with red, betraying his cool exterior. It was no doubt that everyone knew he had been crying, but there wasn't a single person in the world that knew why.

One number at a time, he inched closer to the moment he would reconnect with the world he had left behind. When he got to the part where he was supposed to press send, he snapped the phone shut. He couldn't do it. What right did he have to invade the world he had left? Granted, he hadn't left very willingly, but still, he had left, and now he wanted back in.

He walked out the double doors, feeling like he needed air, but outside he felt just as suffocated as he had inside. He slid down the concrete wall, feeling the cold pavement below him. _I have to do it._ He thought silently, flipping open the phone. He redialed the number, this time pressing send before he had a chance to change his mind.

"Tom" The voice on the other end of the line stated in a hushed tone, the tension clearly apparent. "You have some nerve calling me after what you did"

"I know man, but I need to know, how is she?" Tom pleaded, feeling the tears sting his eyes once again. Tommy heard only silence on the other end. "Kwest man, please I need to know" he cried, the desperation evident in his voice.

"What makes you think I would tell you anything after the way you left?" Kwest demanded, letting out all of his anger toward Tommy. "You have no idea what you did to her."

"I had no choice, Kwest!" Tommy yelled, instantly regretting his words. Of course he had a choice. He had to leave, there was no choice in that, but the way he left, that's where he made the wrong choice. Jude had given him tons of chances to make the right choice, 316 to be exact, and each one time he took the coward's way out. He already knew what the next words out of his best friend's mouth were going to be.

"Don't give me that, T. You could have said goodbye. You could have called. Better yet, you could have simply opened your damn cell phone when it rang." Kwest shouted.

"I know, I screwed up. I get it. But Kwest, man, she stopped calling I don't know what to do." Tommy said, as the tears in his eyes slid quietly down his cheeks.

"Of course she stopped calling, Tommy. That's what people do when they don't hear back from you for weeks. They give up. Jude held on for a long time Tommy, longer than anyone else would have, but it was killing her, you were killing her." Tommy stared at the ground. Kwest's words echoing in his mind. He was right, but the words still stung. Tommy.

"I just need to know if she is alright man. Her last message man, I've never heard her sound like that. All she said was goodbye, but her voice, it sounded so empty, so broken." Tommy's voice quavered as he talked, and tears were still falling from his eyes as her voice echoed through his head again.

"Message Number 316" Kwest said almost inaudibly, the last line in Jude's song finally making sense. Tommy jerked his head up, as Kwest's words pulled him back into reality.

"Wait, how did you-" Tommy started to ask.

"It doesn't matter, T, look you wanted to know how Jude is. She's hurting bad man, and there is not a damn thing anybody here can do about it. We just have to sit here and watch as she struggles to put what is left of her life back together. She's trying, but to be honest, I don't think she will ever get back to where she was, not without you." Kwest finished, and the line filled with silence. Tommy didn't know what to say. Kwest had laid it all out so clearly, and Tommy was speechless.

There was so much Tommy wanted to say, but he couldn't. He didn't know how to start. Before he had the chance, a man walked out the front doors of the building and over to where Tommy was sitting. "Mr. Quincy" the man said. "They are ready for you inside." He turned and retreated back into the building, leaving Tommy to finish his call.

"Look Kwest, I have to go, but I want to explain-" Kwest cut him off before he could finish.

"Whatever, man. Look I answered your question, you know how she is. It's not me you should be explaining anything to, it's her. Don't call me again, not unless it's to tell me you are coming home. Got it?" Kwest stated

"Yeah man, I got it. Bye, Kwest." Tommy sighed.

"Bye, Tom." The line went dead, and Tommy stared at the phone. He knew Kwest was right. He needed to talk to Jude, but he couldn't, not over the phone. _I have to go back, but how do I face her?_ He took a deep breath and pulled himself up off the ground, willing himself back into the cool exterior he had been wearing inside the building. He sighed and walked back through the doors, mentally preparing himself for the next few hours. He wasn't looking forward to it, but he had to do it. One of many things that were standing in between him and Jude, and he needed to get it out of the way._ I need to get back to her_.


	6. You're The One That Taught Me

Chapter 6 – You're the one that taught me

Jude walked back into the studio, coffee in hand, just in time to see Kwest snap his phone shut. He looked at her, and she saw something flash in his eyes. She couldn't quite place it, yet it seemed familiar. Whatever it was, it was quickly covered up by an equally strange look, that almost bordered on spooked.

"What's wrong Kwest? You look like you just saw a ghost." Jude said, handing him his coffee as she took a sip of her own.

_Actually, I just talked to one._ Kwest thought as he quickly changed his expression and attempted to cover. "I'm just thinking about the fact that the new girl that Darius just signed will be back in a few minutes, and I have to work with her. It's going to drive me crazy, she has made the same mistake every time, and she won't listen to my advice. I honestly don't know how Tommy did it." Kwest said, wincing at his last statement. He glanced over at Jude, afraid of how she would react.

Jude blinked a couple of times, his image flashing in her mind, but she managed to meet Kwest's gaze. Noticing the look of apprehension on his face, she smiled softly and said "It's ok Kwest, really. It's good to talk about him. I mean the way he left, it really hurts, but I'm not going to fool myself into thinking I can just move on without him. I still need him, even if it's just his memory. He makes me a better artist, he really does."

Kwest could hardly believe those words had come out of Jude's mouth. She never ceased to amaze him. Here she was, seventeen and heartbroken, and yet she had just displayed more maturity than most adults could muster. _No wonder he loves her._

Jude broke the silence that had settled between then. "Do you think I could hang out with you for a while, maybe help you with your artist? I know you're her producer and all, but I've been in her shoes, and maybe I could give her a few pointers. Besides, it feels right, being here." Jude glanced up at Kwest, watching the smile on his face grow.

"That'd be great Jude"

Two hours later, Kwest sighed, falling back into his chair. She wasn't flat anymore, Jude had fixed that on the first take, but there was still something missing. He looked at Jude, slowly letting out his breath. "I'm dying here, Jude. I don't know what to do. I mean she sings the song like she doesn't know what it is about. There is no emotion in her voice. I think we should call it quits for today."

"Wait, give me just a minute." Jude said, jumping up from her chair. "If her next take isn't better, we'll call it a day." With that, Jude walked into the sound booth, closing the door behind her.

"Cyndi, this song, you wrote it, right?" She asked, sitting down across from a rather frazzled looking young girl. The girl looked up, tears in her eyes.

"Yeah, about a month ago." The girl replied, looking slightly confused.

"Then why are you singing it like you don't understand it?" Jude asked.

"I don't know. I just, I can't figure out how to sing it." The Cyndi replied, her face falling into her hands in defeat.

"Okay… why did you write the song, what's it about, and most importantly, how did you feel when you wrote it?" Jude asked

"Umm, the song, I wrote it just after my sister died. She was killed by a drunk driver, she was only twelve." A tear ran down the young girl's cheek as she struggled to find the answers to Jude's questions. "I wrote the song because I needed some way to deal with the emotions" Jude nodded in encouragement as the girl continued. "It's about waking up every morning knowing she is gone. Feeling so lost without her that I don't know what to do."

"Alright, sing the song again, but this time, focus on the words. I want you to feel it, because if you feel it, your audience will feel it."

"Okay." With a slight smile, the Cyndi stood back up to the mic, and Jude walked out of the sound booth. She walked back over to Kwest, who was still looking slightly frustrated and grinned. He sighed and reset the track, counting down with his fingers before starting the recording. Within seconds, Kwest could hear, or rather, feel the difference. He glanced over at Jude, a smile creeping onto her face.

"You really have a way with the artists, Jude." Kwest said, leaning back in his chair.

"Yeah, well, I learned from the best." She said, smiling sadly.


	7. I Had Too Much To Dream Last Night

Chapter 7 – I had too much to dream last night

Jude fell into bed, collapsing from near exhaustion. She had gotten used to sleepless nights, having had many since Tommy left, but it seemed that the last twenty four hours had drained her more than usual. Lying in her bed, Jude gazed at the moon, feeling a sense of peace settle around her. She snuggled into the blankets, basking in the warmth and security they gave her as she drifted to sleep

Three hours later, Jude awoke, tears streaming down her face. Images flashed before her eyes, overwhelming her, pulling her back in time. For a moment she could feel the cool night air around her, she was running out into the street. She felt the smooth exterior of the car as she pounded on it, trying to get his attention. She heard herself scream his name until she had no voice left. She saw the taillights getting smaller and smaller, and she felt the cold pavement as she crumbled to the ground, sobbing quietly.

When the memories subsided, Jude found herself backed up against the headboard, her legs drawn up to her chest and her arms tightly circling them. As she attempted to slow her breathing, her eyes searched the room for comfort. She found what she was looking for in the far corner of the room. Sliding off the bed, Jude walked slowly over to her guitar. She quietly lifted it from its resting place and ran her fingers over the strings. She grabbed her journal from the desk, and sat down on the floor. The moonlight seeping in through the window gave her just enough light to write by. Strumming the guitar, Jude slowly began filling the page with lyrics, releasing her pain as she wrote.

Morning found Jude sprawled across the floor, head resting quietly on her journal, as if protecting it, even in sleep. She began to stir as the sunlight filled the room. Opening her eyes, she felt a moment of panic as she tried to recall how she managed to end up on the floor. Glancing down at the journal, she noticed a page full of lyrics, and as she read them, the memories from the night before came flooding back.

Jude got around in a hurry, anxious to get to the studio. As she walked through the doors of G-major, she ran into Darius, who pulled her into a hug.

"Jude!" He said, smiling genuinely. "I'm so glad you are back, we missed you around here."

"Yeah, I missed it to, but I had some things I had to deal with." Jude said, not sure how to explain.

"I know Jude, I just wanted to say, I am really proud of you. You are handling this so well. You know, the whole Tommy thing. I'm glad that you are putting it all behind you."

"I'm not." Jude said, causing Darius to look down at her in surprise. "I'm not putting it all behind me D. Truth is, I will never put it behind me. It's always going to be a part of me. Right now, I am just trying to keep my head up, I have to. If I don't, I'll drown, it's as simple as that." Jude finished, looking back at Darius before heading toward studio B.

Finding Kwest deeply engulfed in the song that he was mixing, Jude slipped into the sound booth. She tuned her guitar, thinking about the events of the night before. As she sat, lost in thought, her fingers moved across the strings mechanically, playing the melody to her newly written song.

"It's pretty." Kwest said, startling Jude back into reality. "Have you written your lyrics yet?"

"Yeah." She said softly.

"Well then, let's hear it." Kwest said lightly, before walking out of the sound booth. He set up the track, taking a moment to study Jude. She seemed different today. Her eyes, though they were still filled with sadness, were sharper, more focused. She was ready. She glanced up, meeting his gaze. She nodded her head and he counted her down. Starting the recording he sat back, listening intently to her song.

A little glass angel

Lies shattered on the ground

Crying crystal tears

Without a Sound

Alone in her misery

She breaks down

Watching her world

Silently drown

Her wings, her smile

Her heart, her soul

All of it gone

Now she'll never be whole

Perfect and priceless

Until the day

She fell from her heaven

When he walked away

Somebody will find her

There's no doubt

They'll pick up the pieces

And try to figure out

How to put her back together

That's when they'll realize

Half of her is missing

And that's why she cries

Her wings, her smile

Her heart, her soul

All of it gone

Now she'll never be whole

Perfect and priceless

Until the day

She fell from her heaven

When he walked away

She'll pull her life together

And pretend to be alright

But you'll still hear her crying

In the middle of the night

Because she's not really living

Even though she's alive

She's just praying he returns

While she's trying to survive

Her wings, her smile

Her heart, her soul

All of it gone

Now she'll never be whole

Perfect and priceless

Until the day

She fell from her heaven

When he walked away

A little glass angel

Lies shattered on the ground

Crying crystal tears

Without a Sound

By the time Jude finished, Kwest was speechless. She glanced up, a look of relief on her face. As her eyes met his, she searched for some sort of indication as to what he thought. A moment later a huge smile crept onto his face. He held up the newly burnt cd.

"Darius needs to hear this."


	8. Reminiscence of a Funny Face

Chapter 8 – Reminiscence of a funny face

"I want a copy of this at every major radio station in North America. By tomorrow." Darius said, standing up from his desk. "This is great Jude, amazing, dare I say, one of your best. It's perfect for your new single. I love it." He walked around the desk, pulling Jude into a warm embrace.

"Ummm, thanks." Jude said. Truth was, she didn't really know what to say. She knew the song was good, but she hadn't been thinking about her career when she was singing it. It had been her release. Now that she was standing with Darius and Kwest, listening to her voice, she realized it was beautiful. _My beautiful release_. Jude thought.

When Kwest had insisted that Darius listen to the song, Jude had been unsure. The song was raw and it left her feeling vulnerable. She had never been afraid of what other's thought of her music, but this was different. This was her. The song was a part of her, and she wasn't sure what the world would think. Jude had finally relented; allowing Kwest to mix the song and even went with him to present it to Darius. Now, standing in his office, she was glad she did. Watching how her music had affected Darius made Jude realize something. _That is why I am doing this_. She thought. _To move people._ A moment later, a genuine smile appeared on her face, her first smile in weeks.

"There is the Jude we all love!" Kwest said, eyeing her smile. He hugged Jude, noticing a different look in her eyes. It was the look she used to get whenever she nailed a song. It was passion and fire, the kind of look you only saw when someone was doing something they loved.

"Take the rest of the day off, Jude." Darius said smiling. "You earned it."

"Thanks, D. I guess I will see you guys later." Jude said lightly. Kwest noticed her eyes shift briefly, a distant look coming to the surface. A moment later, Jude blinked and the distant look disappeared, as she smiled softly and walked out of the office slowly.

Jude wasn't sure what she was going to do as she stood out in front of G-Major. Walking down the street, she gazed up at the sky, losing herself in her thoughts. She walked for several minutes, when she looked up; she was standing in front of a coffee shop. She had been here once, with Tommy. Opening the door, she couldn't help but reminisce.

_Flashback_

"_That show rocked!" Jude said, her face glowing from excitement. _

"_You rocked, Jude." Tommy said, smiling at her. "Now let's celebrate!" They linked arms and walked down the street. Not really paying attention to where they were going. He stopped in front of the coffee shop, glancing in the window. It was almost deserted, but it was quaint, the perfect place for an impromptu celebration. _

_The two sat down, talking quietly as they waited for the waitress. The quiet was interrupted when someone squealed "Oh my god, you're Jude Harrison!"_

"_Yeah, that would be me." Jude said smiling. She was getting used to people screaming at her when she was out, though it was strange to hear her name in the statement. Usually it was little Tommy Q. they were yelling about. Tommy sat back and chuckled, giving Jude a look that said 'I'm glad it's you' She shot him one back saying 'you just wait, you'll get your's' _

_It wasn't long before the few people that were still hanging out in the shop were crowded around the table, gasping and giggling. Jude signed several napkins before the waitress walked over, beaming widely. "Omigod, Jude, I can't believe you are here! You totally have to sing for us!" She pointed to the little stage in the corner of the shop. She shot Tommy a help me look, and he just shrugged. _

"_Go get 'em Harrison." He said, smirking. She shot a glare at him, knowing he had done that on purpose. _

"_You owe me dessert when I get done, Quincy." She shot over her shoulder. _

"_Sure thing, girl" Tommy said smiling._

_End Flashback_

Jude was pulled from her memories by her cell phone ringing. She picked it up, opening it to see who was calling her. _Kwest? Didn't I just see him?_ She thought, answering the phone.

"Jude, where are you?" Kwest said. His voice sounded panicked.

"At a coffee shop a few blocks away. Why Kwest, what's wrong?" Jude said, her concern evident in every word. This was Kwest, the most stable person she had ever met. She had never heard him sound like that before, and it scared her.

"Jude, its Darius, he wants you here, now. He-"

"Is that her?" Jude heard someone in the background saying. She listened intently as she tried to figure out what was going on. "You tell her that if she isn't in my office in ten minutes, she's done." Jude didn't have to be told. She was already halfway down the block before she heard Kwest's voice again.

"Hurry, Jude."


	9. The Ghosts That Haunt Me

Chapter 9 – The ghosts that haunt me

"You have two minutes to tell me everything that happened the night of your cd release party." Darius said, red in the face. He closed the door as Jude walked into his office. He wanted answers, and he was going to get them.

"Umm, I don't know, I just needed to get away, why?" Jude said, confused. Why was he suddenly interested in what happened? Nobody had asked her, and with the exception Kwest and Sadie, nobody knew. Even they didn't know everything, because truthfully, Jude didn't even know everything that happened.

"Jude, now. Everything." Darius said harshly, looking her straight in the eye. He wasn't going to fool around anymore. He couldn't.

"Ok, umm, well Tommy had asked me to meet him for dinner." She said, her mind rewinding to that moment. "When he got the he told me he was leaving, but he wouldn't tell me why. He just left. I ran after him, but he just got in his car and drove away. That's when I lost it." Images of her collapsing in the street, watching the taillights disappear played before her, blurring her vision for a moment. Darius nodded, sympathy wearing down the anger in his eyes. Jude slowly continued. "I was a mess; I felt like I had lost everything, my music, my best friend, my-" She stopped herself._ Don't go there_. She thought. "I couldn't sing, so I went looking for Mason, I needed someone to talk to. He was in the middle of the concert, so I waited. There was this guy, a fan, who wanted a picture with me. We started talking and he offered to buy me a drink, but that drink turned into several drinks, and I was wasted before Mason even finished his set. I remember the guy offering to help me into Mason's room, but after that, nothing." Jude finished, taking a deep breath. She had struggled to remember all of that. It was blurry, but she had tried not to leave anything out. She glanced at Darius, afraid of what his reaction would be. Surprisingly, his eyes were soft.

"Well, it certainly wasn't nothing, Jude. Far from it in fact." Darius said, trying to keep his cool. He picked up an envelope, handing it to Jude. "Take a look at those."

Jude pulled out a stack of pictures, rifling through them one by one. He face went blank as she tried to control the tears welling up in her eyes. These pictures, they were all of her, passed out and in a very compromising situation. The pictures fell from her hands, scattering on the floor as Jude struggled to keep her balance. Darius rushed over, guiding her to a chair. Head in her hands, Jude began to sob.

"They kind of fill in the blank spots in the night. I just thought you should know what the rest of the world will see in the next day or two." Darius said, attempting to break the news to her as gently as possible. Jude's head immediately shot up, her tear filled eyes locking on Darius.

"What do you mean the whole world? Why? Where did you get these pictures? Why would you let the rest of the world see them?" Jude cried, her voice rising with every syllable.

"We wouldn't, Jude, but he is." Darius paused when he saw a confused look cross her face. "The guy you met, the one from the bar," Realization dawned on Jude as Darius continued. "He sent us the pictures, or at least that's what we think. He also sent a demand for fifty thousand dollars; otherwise he will release the pictures." Darius said, a pained look in his eyes.

"Fifty thousand, there is no way I have that kind of money."

"We know, and even if you did, it wouldn't help. I have dealt with people like this before, it wouldn't be enough. They would keep demanding, and the first time you resisted, they would take the pictures straight to the press. Jude, it's inevitable." Jude put her face back into her hands, crying harder now. _The whole world. The whole world is going to see me like this. My career is over._ "Jude, look at me. I know this is bad, but here's the thing. We might be able to catch him."

"What? How, if you can't stop him from publishing these photos, how can we catch him?" She asked, glancing at Darius through her tears.

"Well, I have made some calls. There are a few people in the newspaper business that owe me some favors, and well, if the pictures show up, we will know. Our lawyers will take care of the rest. Believe me; he won't see daylight for a while after this." Darius finished.

"Thanks, D. I am so sorry this happened."

"Its ok, just take the day off, and write something amazing. You are going to need something big to make up for the bad publicity. Just so you know, G-major hasn't seen these. Not even Liam. I am going to keep it that way. They can find out with the rest of the world. We don't need anymore tension around here." Jude nodded, relieved that she was not going to be stared at in horror when she left Darius' office.

"Thanks, D." She couldn't believe how well he had taken the news. Though she had a feeling that things would have been different if she had been here when he opened the letter. She remembered his voice when she had been on the phone with Kwest. She didn't know where the anger had gone, but she was glad it hadn't been directed at her. "Do you think I could have a moment alone, before I go back out there?" Jude asked, a pleading look in her eyes. Darius nodded, slowly walking out the door.

When the door closed, Jude felt the numbness start to seep through her body. She sat in the middle of the floor, the pictures all around her. _No._ She thought. _No, no, no, no! I can't, I can't be numb; I won't. No. Not again, no._ She struggled mentally to push the numbness out of her body, willing herself to feel something. She continued to scream within her head, not realizing that she was also screaming on the outside. Moments later the door creaked open. Jude jumped, turning around to see Kwest. He quickly walked over to her, letting the door close behind him.

"What's wrong, Jude? Talk to me; tell me what-" Kwest stopped as his eyes connected with the pictures on the floor. He glanced back up at Jude, his jaw dropping. She dropped her head, fresh tears falling. Kwest put his arms around her, sensing that she was about to break, and that is exactly what she did.


	10. Tattoo This Song

**Hey guys, I just wanted to take a moment to thank you all for reading! A special thanks to all of you who have been reviewing, it means so much to me. In honor of my wonderful reviewers, I am going to double post tonight, so check back when you finish this chapter and the next one should be up. Thanks for reading guys.**

**S.G.**

* * *

Chapter 10 – Tattoo This Song 

Tom hated this office, he hated the beige walls, the hardwood floors that creaked when you walked across them, the fake potted plants; he hated it all. Most of all, he hated the man that was sitting behind the desk. He hated him for ripping him out of his world right when he had finally figured out what he wanted, he hated him for never being there for him, but most of all, he hated the look the man had on his face at that very moment.

The look was one Tom had seen many times. It was disappointment, doubt, and condescension all rolled into one. The look that said 'You will never be good enough.' Tom had seen it every day for years, and he swore when he left that he would never set foot within ten feet of his father or that look. Yet here he was, sitting in a chair separated from him only by the desk between them.

"So you really think that you can do this? That you can handle this kind of responsibility?" His father said, the words dripping with sarcasm. Tom just signed the last paper, practically throwing it at his father. "The stakes are higher now, Tom, it's not just your life that you are going to ruin. Don't come crying to me when you screw things up again." He said with a hallow chuckle.

"Don't worry, I never expected you to be my father. You were always better at being a lawyer anyway. Knowing that, I am sure I can count on you to finish this up without me. Just send me the paperwork and the bill." Tommy said coldly. He stood up and walked out of the room, not bothering to look back.

Tommy stepped up into the black truck, putting it in gear before slowly backing out of the parking space. He still wasn't used to driving such a large vehicle. He thought back to his precious viper, sitting in his garage back in Toronto. His mind instantly replayed the various memories associated with his car. The day he picked up Jude at the school, rescuing her from the horrible band rendition of her first song, the trip up to the Harrison family farm, with Jude changing the radio station every three seconds, the driving lesson where Jude had almost killed the both of them. He smiled softly, wondering what she was doing now.

As he pulled out into traffic, Tommy fiddled with the radio. He stopped, letting a soft piano melody fill his car. The piano was joined by an acoustic guitar, creating a beautiful sound that enveloped Tommy, as he lost himself in the music. A voice drifted through the speakers, causing Tommy to nearly wreck.

_A little glass angel lies shattered on the ground, crying crystal tears without a sound_

"Jude." Tommy mouthed as he pulled the truck to the side of the road. He turned the radio up, listening intently as Jude's words found their way to his heart.

_Perfect and priceless until the day, she fell from her heaven when he walked away_

He lost himself in the words that she sang. Her pain washed through him as tears ran down his face. _She is still there_. He thought. _I walked away, but she is still there, still hurting. I was the one who left and I am the only one who can go back_.

_She's not really living even though she's alive; she's just praying he returns, while she's trying to survive_

He drifted back into his thoughts, allowing himself to feel the emotions he had locked inside of him at full force for the first time since he had left Canada. They were raw and painful, but they were also pure and beautiful. He felt a weight being lifted as he finally allowed himself to cry his own tears. He had mourned for Jude, for what he had done to her, for the broken bond between them, but never for himself.

"That was Glass Angel by Jude Harrison." The DJ said, his voice pulling Tommy out of his daze. "Another hit from the Canadian Superstar, and remember, you heard it first right here on 96.7 the hottest spot on the radio.

Tommy started the truck back up, a strange sense of calm settling over him. It was time to move on with his life. He couldn't go back. It was too late for that. His old life was gone, a distant memory. All that was left was the future, and he knew exactly where he wanted it to go.

"Angie, you need to gather up your things." Tommy said, walking through the front door. "We are going to Toronto."


	11. Precious Illusions

Chapter 11 – Precious Illusions

Jude woke up from her semi-sleep state, groaning loudly. The sun had yet to make its way over the horizon, but Jude knew she wasn't going back to sleep. _When did I become a morning person?_ Truth was, she hadn't. She was still as grumpy and out of it as she had always been in the mornings. Now she just couldn't sleep. She had become accustomed to the lack of sleep, or perhaps she had just learned to ignore the signs of exhaustion. Either way, Jude stayed up half the night and still woke up before the dawn.

After turning her computer on, Jude slipped out her door and quietly padded down the stairs. She returned to her room a few minutes later, newspaper in hand. She opened it cautiously; almost afraid of what she might see. To her relief the front page was an article about the city's crime rates. Jude didn't stop to read it as she scanned the rest of the newspaper.

She walked back to her computer, typing her name into the search engine. Scanning the results, she let out a sigh. Three days had gone by since Darius had given her the pictures, and each day Jude had searched for any indication of them being released. So far, there had been nothing. Jude couldn't help but think that it would be better to just get it over with. The last three days had been horrible. It was so hard knowing what was going to happen, yet not being able to do anything about it. At least once it had been done, she could focus on how to fix it, but until then, all she could do was wait.

Jude made herself some coffee, sitting on the counter as she drank it. It burned her tongue, yet her body remained cold. She shivered, looking out the window at the rising sun. It was going to be a beautiful day, yet it was raining in Jude's heart. She sighed, putting down her cup and grabbing her keys. She had another song to record, and she had a feeling Darius was going to like it. It seemed he liked all of her stuff lately, insisting that it was some of her best. _Emotional_ and _Inspired_. Those had been the words he had used to describe her music. He had hit it right on the money. Jude just wished her inspiration would show his face again, because at that moment, it was the only thing she wanted to see.

Arriving at the studio, Jude walked in, ready to get to work. It was the only way she got through the day. She threw herself into her music, working nonstop until it was finished. Spotting Mason she gave him a wave, which he promptly returned, closing the distance between the two. He wrapped her in a hug, holding he just tight enough to support her small frame. She smiled weakly at him and he nodded, understanding. He knew how hard the last few weeks had been on Jude, and he knew that all he could do was be there for her.

Mason finally broke the silence, asking about if Jude was recording today. "Yeah." She said, brightening up slightly.

"Mind if I stick around, I'd like to see what you are working on."

"Sure." Jude said, glad to have the company. They walked into the recording studio, Kwest looking up from his chair. Jude smiled slightly, she loved Mason and Kwest. They had been there for her through everything, and they had no idea how much it meant. She felt safe with them, comfortable. She didn't think that either of them realized how important that was. Her music had become so emotional and raw that it was hard to sing. Having them there, she felt like she could let go and feel the emotions, knowing that at the end of the song, there would be someone there for her.

Jude walked into the sound booth, adjusting the mic to her height. She tried to prepare herself for the rush of emotions that was approaching, but in the end, she let it crash into her, flooding her voice as she began to sing.

I no longer dream

When I sleep at night

Surrounded by the darkness

Knowing there's no light

You left me here so empty

And there's nothing I can do

The world's such a lonely place

Without you

I don't want to wake up

When I know you won't be there

And I can't seem to move on

Now that I know that you don't care

'Cause every day that passes by

Since you walked out of my life

Is just another empty day

Just a little more time

Slipping away

If I were to die tonight

As I lie here all alone

I don't think I'd feel the pain

I'm numb from head to toe

Nothing left but a frozen heart

Since you went away

I hope this is the last night

I can't take another day

I don't want to wake up

When I know you won't be there

And I can't seem to move on

Now that I know that you don't care

'Cause every day that passes by

Since you walked out of my life

Is just another empty day

Just a little more time

Slipping away

I don't want to wake up

No I don't want to wake up Anymore

Jude's voice faded, along with the music as she opened her eyes, refocusing on the room before her. Through the glass she could see Kwest and Mason. They smiled, but their eyes were filled with sadness. She nodded, acknowledging their approval, and left the sound booth, joining them once again.

"Hey, I could go for a snack about now." Mason said, trying to soften the mood. "How about we see what we can find in hospitality?"

"That sounds wonderful." Jude said, putting on a fake smile. She knew they could see right through it, but it didn't matter. She needed to smile, even if it was just pretend.

The three of them headed off to find some food, walking casually through the lobby. Jude's eyes drifted around the room, stopping abruptly at the glass doors. Mason couldn't help but notice as she froze in place, shaking her head as if to ride herself of a bad dream. She then sped up, disappearing into the kitchen.

As soon as they had all arrived in the room, Jude turned around, almost running into Mason. "Feel my forehead Mase, am I feverish?"

"No…" he said, putting his hand on her face. He gave her a confused look, but her expression was impossible to read.

"It must be the lack of sleep then." Jude said shaking her head again. A look passed between Kwest and Mason, concern written on both of their faces.

"What is it?" Kwest asked.

"I swear I just saw a blue viper pull in."


	12. A Child With The Ghost

Chapter 12 – A child with the ghost

Tommy stepped out of the viper, breathing in the crisp Toronto air. He walked around the car, opening the other door. His passenger slid out of the car, giving him a smile as she took his hand. He squeezed it lightly, mentally preparing himself for the moments to come. He hadn't called anyone to let them know he was coming back, so they were in for a surprise, and Tommy had a feeling it wasn't going to be pretty.

As Tommy walked through the front doors of G-Major, it seemed as though time had stopped. Nobody moved their eyes from the door, expressions similar to someone who had seen a ghost. Sadie and Liam stood at the front desk, mouths wide open, and SME was on the couch, eyebrows raised at him. Kwest and Mason stood at the doorway of hospitality with Jude. _Jude._ Tommy thought. He face was a mask of emotions. Anger, sadness, relief, doubt, confusion; they were all there. _She still looks so beautiful._

Before Tommy had a chance to open his mouth, Portia walked out of Darius' office, unaware of the latest development. "Sadie, do you have the-" She stopped short, taking in the scene.

"Auntie Portia!" Tommy's companion, a little girl with big brown eyes, ran across the room, jumping into Portia's arms.

"Angie, what are you doing here sweetie?" Portia asked, attempting to make sense of the situation. Everyone else just watched in silent shock.

"I'm here with Daddy." Angie said beaming. She pointed back at Tom, who stood frozen in shock. The room let out a collective gasp as their eyes turned to Tommy. Everyone's eyes except for Jude's that is, because she had already passed out.

"Oh my god, Jude!" Mason exclaimed as he and Kwest collectively caught her, just before she hit the floor. The gaze shifted from Tommy as everyone looked to see what happened.

Tommy was across the room in two seconds flat, kneeling beside an unconscious Jude. He stroked her face, willing her to wake up. He picked her up gently, carrying her to the couch which SME quickly vacated. It wasn't long before Jude started to stir. When she opened her eyes, the first thing she saw was Tommy staring down at her.

She sat up; blinking a few times as if trying to make sure she was really awake. Jude looked around the room, taking in the scene. She appeared to be slightly disoriented, but her eyes got wide as the realization of the last few moments dawned on her. Emotion filled her eyes, vanishing almost immediately. Her face went blank as she slowly got up, walking out of the room, leaving everyone to stare at one another.

"Jude!" Tommy said, snapping back into reality. She stopped for a moment, but didn't turn around; then she just kept walking. He got up to follow her, running to catch up, but Portia stood in his way, still holding Angie.

"Not so fast Tom, don't you think you ought to explain yourself?" She said, her words sharp and pointed. Tommy sighed, watching Jude disappear into studio C, slamming the door behind her.

"OK fine Portia, what do you want me to say?" He asked, knowing the answer. She didn't respond, waiting for him to give an explanation. "Look, it doesn't matter what happened. Angie is my daughter; the rest is in the past." He said, looking down slightly. He knew there was more to it than that, but he didn't want to get into it with Portia at that moment. Not with an entire lobby of listeners, and not when there was someone else he should have been talking to.

"She was my best friend Tommy, and we were married!" Portia yelled, realizations hitting her like a ton of bricks. "I can't deal with this right now." She rushed out the door, tears starting to fall. Tommy sat there, dumbfounded. _Did that really just happen?_

"Tommy, you need to talk to Jude." Kwest said quietly, breaking into Tommy's thoughts. "I'll watch Angie for you."

"Yeah, thanks" Tommy said distractedly, turning towards studio C. He took a deep breath and started down the hall. When he reached the door, he hesitated, wondering if she had locked it. He turned the doorknob, surprised that she hadn't. He took another deep breath and opened the door.

"Jude, we need to talk."


	13. I Didn't Know My Heart Could Break

Chapter 13 - I didn't know my heart could break

Jude looked up at Tommy, her eyes empty. She was sitting on the floor with her legs drawn up to her chest. He stepped into the room slowly, as if afraid of what he was going to find. Jude just sat there, refusing to acknowledge Tommy's presence. All of the emotions were building up behind her eyes, and Jude's cool exterior was crumbling. She knew she was going to break; she just wasn't sure which emotion was going to come out first.

"Jude, will you just talk to me, please?" Tommy said, locking eyes with Jude. She stared into his blue eyes, noticing the look of desperation and pleading. She tried to break the gaze between them, but she couldn't. She felt her own eyes fill with tears as the wall that had held her emotions broke, flooding her body.

"Talk, Tommy?" She said her voice pure rage. "You want to talk? Well guess what, I want to self-destruct right about now, but I don't think that's going to happen, so what makes you think that you are going to get what you want? You had your chance to talk, three hundred chances to talking in fact, and now you want to talk?" Jude yelled

"Jude, just listen to me." Tommy started, but Jude cut him off before he could say anything else.

"What do you think I have been doing since you left Tommy?" Jude said, pulling herself up off the ground and glaring into Tommy's eyes. "I have been listening Tommy, listening and waiting. And do you know what I have heard Tommy? Nothing! Absolutely nothing. So what the hell do you think you can say to make up for three weeks of silence?" She screamed

"Nothing" Tommy said, almost inaudibly. Jude's jaw dropped. That wasn't the reaction Jude was expecting, in fact, it was pretty much the opposite. "There is nothing I can do to make it up to you." He said, dropping his head to the floor.

"Are you kidding me Tommy?" She yelled, throwing her hands up in exasperation. "You break my heart, skip town, go missing for weeks, and that's all you have to say for yourself? Is that how little I mean to you? Is it not even worth making up a bad excuse?"

"What do you want me to say?" Tommy screamed, matching Jude's intensity.

"I want you to tell me the truth. I want to know what happened, Tommy; I want to know why you couldn't even take two minutes to explain it to me. Who was the old man in your car? What was so important that you forgot how to use your cell phone? Was it worth breaking my heart, Tommy?" Jude cried, losing the anger in her voice as tears ran down her face. "Who is the little girl and why did she call you Daddy? How does Portia fit into the equation? Where did you go, Tommy, and why did you come back?" Jude finished, surprised that she was still breathing. A silent moment passed between the two before Tommy opened his mouth to begin.

"Alright." Tommy said, taking a deep breath. "The man, he was my father, whom I had not seen in almost ten years. He is a lawyer. He had a summons for me to appear in the U.S. to receive full custody of my daughter." Jude's mouth dropped. Tom really did have a daughter. But how, when, and most importantly, why hadn't he ever told her? Tommy noticed the look of hurt and confusion on Jude's face. He quickly continued.

"I swear Jude, I didn't know about any of this. I wouldn't have kept this from you. Her mother was a girl I knew back when I was with Portia. She was Portia's closest friend, Michelle. Right before we got married, Portia began having second thoughts. She called the wedding off, telling me she needed space. She took off for a week, leaving me to wonder what had gone wrong. One night, Michelle stopped by, wanting to know where Portia was. I told her I had no idea; that she had left me. She took me out in an attempt to cheer me up, but instead we both ended up trashed. I woke up the next morning in bed with her." Jude's eyes widened as the picture started to come together. She remained silent, wanting Tommy to continue.

"Portia came back, and we both swore that it had never happened. Portia had worked out her issues with marrying me and even decided to move the wedding date up. Two and a half weeks later, we had our wedding. Michelle was the maid of honor. Not long after that, she moved, claiming she needed a fresh start. Portia and I got a divorce, I moved to Toronto and I never heard from Michelle again." Tommy paused, trying to gauge Jude's reaction to what he was telling her. She seemed surprisingly calm, considering the gravity of the situation. Tommy took a deep breath and started again.

"The hearing was the day after I left, and that is where I found out that I had a child. Apparently Michelle overdosed on painkillers, and social services had taken Angie away from her. They were getting ready to put her in a foster home when they found my name on the birth certificate. I now have full custody of Angie, and Michelle is in a rehab center in the states." Tommy glanced at Jude, knowing he still hadn't answered all of her questions.

"The reason I came back, Jude, the only reason, was you. It broke my heart to leave you, and I will never forgive myself for breaking yours. I want to be with you, to be around you every single day. You are the only thing that makes me feel alive, and I am lost without you." Tommy said, trying to find the courage to look up at Jude. When he did, her blue eyes were filling up with tears.

Jude was floored. He had just said everything she had ever wished he would say. _Yes, yes, yes!_ She screamed inside her head. On the outside however, she was far from screaming yes.

"No. You can't do that, I won't let you. You can't come back, telling me you love me and getting my hopes up like this. I can't do it. I can't let you back in, knowing that every time I do you bail on me." Jude said, fresh tears spilling over.

"But, Jude-" Tommy said, pleading with her.

"No, Tommy." Jude said, her voice surprisingly strong for someone who was on the verge of breaking down. "I can't do this, not right now." Jude rushed out of the studio, leaving Tommy to stare out the window and try to figure out what to do next.


	14. Running Out of Reasons to Run

Chapter 14 – Running Out of Reasons to Run

Kwest watched as Jude ran out of the Studio, leaving Tommy standing at the door, tears falling freely. She ran past him, without noticing and out the front door. This was his cue to go find her. He had promised her, and now he had a chance to fulfill that promise.

He looked down at Angie, quietly drawing on some paper that Sadie had given her. He glanced up at Sadie, and then towards the door that Jude had just ran out of. Sadie nodded, signaling that she understood. She walked out from around the desk, sitting down next to Angie. They began to talk quietly, and soon, Sadie was drawing right alongside the little girl. Kwest got up, smiling softly. He rushed out the door, hoping he would be able to catch up to Jude.

He had no idea where she was headed, but when he watched her leave, she had turned left, so Kwest did the same thing. He scanned the street, seeing a blonde head in the distance, sitting on an empty park bench, her head in her hands.

He sped up, anxious to get to her. He pushed his own thoughts out of his head, trying to focus on Jude. Kwest had a thousand questions echoing in his mind, and Tommy would have some explaining to do, but it would have to wait. Right now, Jude needed someone, and that was the only thing that mattered.

"Jude." Kwest said, causing the girl to look up in surprise. She looked away, trying to control the tears she knew were falling. Kwest sat down, wrapping his arms around Jude, mentally telling her it would be alright. Maybe he was telling himself it was going to be alright, because frankly, he wasn't so sure anymore. Everything was coming undone, and Kwest wasn't sure what the next few days would bring. It seemed that everyone was unraveling, and Kwest couldn't imagine what it was like for Jude. She was right in the middle of everything, her heart being torn apart.

"I can't do this Kwest. I can't go back there. I'm through, I quit. It's too much to handle, and I can't take it anymore." She said, rambling on without realizing what she was saying. "It just hurts so much. I can't even think about it. I want to trust him, but I can't. I don't want to believe him, but I do. I want to smile, but I am crying. I want to just run away, but I can't seem to get more than three blocks. It's like everything has been turned around, and now I have to learn to walk backwards just to make it make sense." Jude finished, not sure what she was trying to say. There were all these feelings inside of her, and she didn't know how to get them out.

"It's ok to feel that way, Jude." Kwest said, squeezing her tighter. He pulled back just enough to see Jude's face, locking eyes with her before he continued. "Nobody expects you to trust him, he broke your heart. It's going to be a long time before those pieces are put back together. It's also ok to believe him, to believe in him, even if you don't trust him. That is a part of learning to trust him again, you have to believe that he has the capability to make things right, to earn your trust. It is going to hurt, and you are going to cry Jude, and there is nothing wrong with that. There will be moments like this when all you want to do is leave, moments you just need to break away, to escape for a bit. That's okay too." He continued, watching Jude carefully, praying that she understood what he was saying.

"But that voice Jude, the one that stopped you from getting more than three blocks away, that's your heart talking, and you need to listen to it. It won't let you walk away because it knows that you need to stay. As much as it hurts, you need to keep going, because if you quit, if you runaway, you are not just running away from Tommy, you are running away from yourself and your music too." Kwest stopped, glancing over at Jude. Ever so slowly she started to nod her head.

"Your right." she said quietly. "I have to do this, for me." She looked at Kwest, smiling softly. His speech had made her think about what she was doing, to help her organize all of the feelings inside her heart. "Thanks Kwest."

"Anytime, Jude." He said, breathing a sigh of relief. "I promised I wouldn't let you quit, and I meant it. Besides, if you leave, who is going to help me with Cyndi?" He said, lightening the mood slightly. It worked; Jude's face broke into a grin, the memory flashing in her mind. "What do you say we get some coffee before we head back?" He suggested, wanting to give Jude a little bit of time to collect herself. Besides, he was guessing it was going to be a stressful day, and he needed all of the energy he could get.

"Sounds good, I actually have some ideas for a song. I suddenly have some new inspiration." Kwest nodded, understanding exactly what she meant.


	15. Remember When It Rained

Chapter 15 – Remember When It Rained

Tommy stood in shock watching the Jude run out of G-Major, tears in her eyes. What was wrong with him? Twice in one day he had watched someone run out that door crying over something he had done. He was seriously considering getting a warning label tattooed on him. He could see it now. i _Warning: Coming within ten feet of this person may cause you to run out crying._

Tom laughed sarcastically at the thought. It was the only thing that kept him from breaking down. He didn't know what to do anymore. He knew that he deserved to be walked out on, after everything he had done, but he didn't know it was possible to hurt that much.

The slightest hint of hope flickered in Tommy's heart when he watched Kwest run after Jude. _Please Kwest. Help me out._ Tommy silently pleaded. He was guessing that he wasn't exactly on Kwest's Christmas list, but he remembered what Kwest had told him. He could remember it word for word in fact. _To be honest, I don't think she will ever get back to where she was, not without you._ If Kwest couldn't get her to give him a chance, Tommy honestly didn't think anyone could.

He sighed, looking around the studio. There were a lot of memories here, memories with Jude. He absently walked over to the bookshelf on the far wall. All of the masters were kept in this studio. He flipped through them, finding the copies of Jude's first two albums. Memories flooded his mind. Each song held something, a moment with Jude. He went through them all, one by one, reveling in the warm feelings they created.

Tommy moved on, flipping through the other cd's on the shelf. He found the master for Glass Angel, recalling the words that had haunted him the whole way home. The next two cd's were Jude's as well. He opened up the one that had been recorded that day, slipping it into the stereo and pressing play. Music filled the studio, capturing Tommy in the melody. The song was so sad that Tommy could literally feel Jude's heart breaking in every word. Guilt seeped through his body until he thought he couldn't stand it.

The other cd didn't have a date on it. It was titled "Goodbye" and Tommy let his curiosity get the best of him. He switched the discs, pressing play. He immediately noticed the difference in the two songs. This one hadn't been mixed, containing only a mournful guitar. Jude's voice joined in and Tommy lost it.

_I always swore I'd never say goodbye to you _

Tommy had never heard Jude like this, so broken and lost. It killed him, and he felt tears trace their familiar path down his cheeks. She sounded so scared, like she didn't know how to live anymore.

_Goodbye, to the other half of me, goodbye, I'm broken can't you see_

Each word tore Tommy apart, eating at his heart. He wanted to turn it off, silencing the pain he felt inside, but he let it play. This was what she had gone through, and now he would go through it all too. He had to.

_I'm lost without you, but it seems that you're lost too_

The words made Tommy want to run after Jude, and when he found her, he would wrap his arms around her and hold her until she felt safe again. _What if she can't feel safe in my arms?_ He thought darkly. He quickly banished the thought, refusing to allow himself to believe it.

_Goodbye is all I said, through tears that go unshed, the pain that can't be seen, in Message 316_

It finally clicked, and Tommy knew exactly when and why Jude had written the song. Everything she had said in the song was what she couldn't say in message number 316. It was her confession.

Finally Tommy knew what he had to do. He had to keep trying, for as long as it took. He knew it was going to take time, but he wasn't going to give up. He had failed her once, and he wasn't about to let it happen again. Now if only he knew where she was.

What Tommy saw when he turned back toward the window overlooking the G-Major lobby was enough to make him seriously contemplate whether he had some sort of supernatural summoning ability. There she was, walking through the door, coffee in hand. She was followed by Kwest, who smiled widely at something Jude was saying. Was Tommy imagining things, or were they headed directly toward the studio he was sitting in?

_I must be hallucinating_. He thought. _Wait, is she waving? Opening the door? No, this isn't happening. It must be the lack of sleep_

"Let's get to work, Quincy" Jude said, handing him a cup of coffee.


	16. The Songs Will Write The Words

Chapter 16 – The songs will write the words

It was strange how quickly things seemed to go back to normal, at least on the surface. Kwest really had to hand it to Jude, she was trying really hard. She was doing so well in fact that an outsider, or even a non observant insider would assume that nothing had happened. She was warm and friendly toward him, smiling and even occasionally laughing. She joked with him, working on her song and making small talk.

Kwest, though slightly surprised at how well things appeared to be going, was not the typical observer. Having spent more time with these two than almost anyone else at G-Major, he picked up on the subtle differences in the Jude-Tommy dynamic. Jude was guarded, not allowing herself to get too comfortable with Tommy. She never allowed the conversation to stray into anything personal, never brought up the past, keeping things strictly in the present. She also made sure she kept physical space between her and Tommy.

Jude got down to business right away. "I want a different type of sound for this song." She said, looking at the two guys. "I want it to start out soft and quiet, focusing on the lyrics." She paused, waiting for their approval. Kwest nodded.

"What is the song going to be about?" Tommy asked. Jude looked down at her feet, not sure how to answer.

"It's about a girl, who doesn't know what to do. To her, it seems like life is one big contradiction and she's trying to make sense of it." Jude said, glancing up at them. Both Kwest and Tommy nodded. Kwest locked eyes with Jude, signaling silently that he knew what she meant. Jude smiled, she was glad she had talked to Kwest about how she felt, it was nice to know that someone understood.

"Okay, so the music starts off slow," Tommy said, taking hold of the concept and running with it. "The girl is lost and confused. She feels alone, and she is fighting a battle with herself, trying to make sense of her life."

"How about this." Jude says, starting to sing _"I'm invisible and crying, I'm okay no I'm lying, I don't know but I'm trying to understand"_ Tommy nodded. Kwest just sat back, smiling as he watched the two. They were in their zone, and he didn't intend to bother them.

"Alright, now what is the girl confused about? What caused her to feel like this?" Tommy asked. He had a feeling he knew the answer, but he wanted to hear Jude say it. She paused for a moment, trying to decide how much to tell him. He could tell she was struggling to open up. He had noticed it right away. She had kept at a distance, both physically and emotionally, and as much as it hurt him, he couldn't blame her for it.

Jude finally gave in, realizing that the song wouldn't work without her opening up completely. "Her heart, it's being pulled in two different directions. On one hand, she is afraid that if she opens up, and allows love back in, she will get hurt, but on the other hand, she wonders if she will hurt herself more by shutting love out. She's waiting for an answer that doesn't come." Jude finished, feeling suddenly vulnerable. She had just indirectly told Tommy exactly how she felt. She looked to Kwest for help. He smiled, nodding in approval.

"So, we have the first part, what's next?" Tommy said, easing the tension in the room

"Well, I want the tempo to pick up, but just a little bit." Jude said. Tommy nodded slowly trying to picture what she was trying to do with the song. "I want it to represent a change in the mood of the song. Our girl, she is still lost, but she is beginning to understand why. She still doesn't know what to do, but she knows that whatever it is, it has to start with him. Let's see." She said, letting her mind drift into the song, trying to find the lyrics. "How does this sound? _I don't know what to do, I'm here without you, there you are without a clue, why won't you take my hand_." Jude opened her eyes, glancing at Tommy. A smile crept onto his face.

"I love it! Ok, so our girl is talking to this guy, the one who broke her heart. What does she want to say? We can use it as chorus. We will speed up the tempo again, but keep it soft. She isn't angry, but she does want him to hear what she is saying." He paused, wanting to make sure Jude agreed, she nodded and he continued. "She's talking to him, but she's still trying to figure out what it is she's saying, so it's almost like she is contradicting herself."

"Okay, here it goes." Jude said, formulating the words in her head. She wasn't sure how they were going to come out, but they were there, on the surface. She let herself get lost in the image that Tommy had created for the song, letting the words flow out of her _"You're here but you're gone, and I'm left to carry on, I don't know what to do, with or without you. Is it time to say goodbye, or another chance to try, I don't know what to do with or without you"_

"Wow, that was perfect, Jude. This is going to be a great song. So, the next verse, where do we want it to go?" Before Jude had a chance to answer Kwest chimed in, pulling the two out of their daze.

"I think I am going to grab a snack, do you guys want anything?" Kwest said, regretting his choice to break their concentration. Their electricity was amazing, especially when they worked on a song together. However, he also knew when he wasn't needed, and he wanted to give them a chance to be together, one on one again.

"Coffee!" They said in unison. Kwest chuckled and left the room.

Being broken from the intense songwriting session they had just been engulfed in caused a silence to settle in the room. It was a comfortable silence, and both Tommy and Jude reveled in it. Finally Tommy broke the silence, saying something he had wanted to say all afternoon.

"I've really missed this, Jude." Tommy said, the honesty shining through in his eyes.

"I have too. I really have." Jude said, smiling softly.

"So, the song?" Tommy said after a few moments. He wanted to feel the spark between them again. He loved the way it felt when they worked on a song. It was like lightning striking, it was beautiful; beautiful and dangerous.

"Well, we'll slow it down again, but not quite as much as we did the first time. Our girl is starting to work out what's going on in her mind, but as she does, it just gets more confusing." The door opened, causing both Jude and Tommy to jump slightly. They turned around, seeing Kwest at the door. He had a strange, unreadable look on his face.

"Where's the coffee?" Jude said, grinning.

"Actually, Darius wants to see you Jude, he says it's really important." She got up silently, the expression on her face suddenly matching Kwest's. Tommy just looked between the two in confusion Jude silently left the room, leaving the two guys alone.

"Kwest." Tommy started, feeling he owed him and explanation. He was just one of the many people Tommy had hurt when he had left, and other than Jude, he was the only one Tommy was concerned about making things right with.

"It's okay man. I'm not going to pretend to understand what happened, or why you did it, but I'm not going to hold it against you. We all make mistakes, yours just happened to be a lot bigger than most people's. I'm not letting you completely off the hook though; I still want to know what happened." Tommy nodded, shocked but happy. He would explain anything if it meant he could have his best friend back.

Before Tommy could start, Jude ran back into the studio, tears running down her face. Both Tommy and Kwest jumped up, glancing at one another before turning their attention to Jude.

"What's wrong?" They both said.

"They found him Kwest. They found him and now they want me to identify him, tonight." Tommy felt like he had missed something. What were they talking about? He looked between the two of them. Suddenly Jude's eyes go wide and she slid down the door. Both Kwest and Tommy were both beside her in a split second. "That means that tomorrow." She started drifting off. Her head dropped and she sobbed quietly.

"It'll be ok, Jude." Kwest said quietly, pulling her toward him. She buried he face in his chest, sobbing harder. "We'll get through it, I promise." A look passed between Tommy and Kwest. He was right; he had missed something, and judging by Jude's reaction, it was something big. He felt a pang of jealousy at the thought that Kwest was comforting Jude. He wanted to be the one holding her and telling her it would be alright, but he didn't even know what was wrong so the best he could do was rub her back and hope that Kwest was right.

"Kwest?" Jude said quietly. "Will you go with me? I don't think I can do it alone." She looked up at him with pleading eyes.

"Of course." Kwest said, helping Jude back to her feet. She mumbled an apology to Tommy for leaving before they finished the song before pulling him into an awkward hug. It was the first time they had actually touched since he had left. She let go, nodding to Kwest who had the same shocked expression that Tommy had, and the two of them left.

Tommy stood frozen as they walked away. _What's going on? What happened to Jude? Did that really just happen?_ Tommy was left alone to wonder.


	17. When Bad News Gets Worse

Chapter 17 – When Bad News Gets Worse

Tom let his mind wander as he drove through Toronto. He was on his way to G-Major to get some work done on Jude's new song. It was early, and since Jude was hardly a morning person, Tommy figured he had a couple of hours before she got there. He wanted to try to get the music for her song started so he could surprise her when she got back. He had also been up all night worrying about Jude, and had decided that doing something constructive would help pass the time. He had no idea what was going on with Jude, but he wanted to know that she was alright, because if she was alright, everything was alright.

As he neared G-Major, he was shocked to see Jude's mustang parked near the front. The only times he had ever seen Jude at the studio this early was when she had been there all night of he had woken her up and dragged her down there. Improvising, Tommy decided to grab some coffee for Jude and himself. He walked down the street in the opposite direction of the studio, heading for Jude's favorite coffee shop, but he never made it there.

Tommy stopped short in front of the newsstand. He physically had to steady himself, nearly passing out from what he saw. He read the closest headline 'Instant Star Gone Bad.' He glanced at the others, they all had similar titles, and each one had Jude passed out on the front page. He picked one up flipping through it, trying to control the anger boiling inside of him. How could someone do this to her? How could she allow someone to do this to her? What exactly had happened while he was gone?

One thing was for sure, Tommy was about to find out. He walked back to G-Major, slamming through the front doors. He passed by Liam who looked more than a little unhappy. Tommy opened the door of the studio, causing Kwest to look up from his place next to Jude. He gave Tommy a look, but Tommy didn't see it. He was already through the door, slamming the paper down in front of Jude.

"What the hell is this?" He said, pacing back and forth inside the little room.

"I really don't want to talk about it, Tommy. Just leave me alone." Jude said, not picking up her head. She didn't want to see the pictures, and she didn't want to see Tommy.

"I can't, Jude. I can't leave you alone, not about this. I mean how could you let this happen? You got trashed and let some guy take pictures of you. Did you really think the press wouldn't get a hold of them? God, Jude, when did you become so stupid?" Tommy yelled. He knew he would regret what he was saying, but at that moment he couldn't stop himself. It wasn't even Jude he was mad at, but if he knew where the creep was that took those pictures was, he would do a whole lot more than yell.

Jude didn't say a word, just walked into the sound booth and sat against the door. Tommy walked toward the door, but Kwest stopped him.

"Leave her alone man." Kwest said, his tone dead serious. "That was really messed up, T, she just had the worst experience of her life plastered on the front of every newspaper in Toronto, and then you come in here and call her stupid? What the hell man, I thought you cared about her." He said, shaking his head.

"I do man, but I mean how could she let this happen?" He said, exasperated.

"T, man, you don't get it. Last night she had to identify the guy who took those pictures, knowing that they were going to be in the papers today. She went, and she put her-" Kwest paused, thinking about his words. "She put him behind bars. Do you know what kind of courage that takes Tom?"

"What aren't you telling me Kwest? What did that guy do? What were you about to say?" Tommy said, his heart falling as his mind ran through the possibilities.

"Look man, I'm not going to get into it with you. If she wants to tell you, she will. That is if she ever speaks to you again. But I have to ask you man, can you even imagine what she is going through?" He pointed through the glass to a curled up Jude. She was sobbing silently, her whole body shaking. "She doesn't need another person judging her."

Tommy looked down at the ground, immense guilt seeping through him. Kwest was right; he had hurt Jude, yet again right when she needed someone the most. He was the stupid one. Kwest and Tommy sat in silence for a while, both contemplating the situation. Kwest was mad at Tommy, but mostly he was concerned about Jude. She had been so happy the day before, and he didn't want her to lose that. She deserved to be happy. Tommy on the other hand was mentally cursing himself for breaking her heart again. Neither of them noticed Jude strumming her guitar in the sound booth. They were both startled from their stupor when Jude opened the door just enough for them to hear her.

"Let's record the song." Jude said simply, turning back around. Tommy glanced at Kwest, then back at Jude.

"But the song isn't done." He started, trying to make sense of the situation.

"It is now." Jude said, walking back into the studio, letting the door close behind her. Tommy sighed, setting up the tracks while Jude readjusted the mic. A few minutes later Kwest counted her down, pressing record. The two guys listened as she sang.

I'm Invisible and crying

I'm okay, no I'm lying

I don't know, but I'm trying

To understand

I don't know what to do

I'm here without you

And there you are without a clue

Why won't you take my hand

You're here but you're gone

And I'm left to carry on

I don't know what to do

With or without you

Is it time to say goodbye

Or another chance to try

I don't know what to do

With or without you

I'm awake but I'm dreaming

My mouth is closed but I'm screaming

Everyone here is scheming

But who knows why

Open eyes still can't see

Happy endings just can't be

You say you care about me

But it's all a lie

You're here but you're gone

And I'm left to carry on

I don't know what to do

With or without you

Is it time to say goodbye

Or another chance to try

I don't know what to do

With or without you

I'm here but I'm leaving

I'm just tired of believing

Whether honest or deceiving

I don't care

You'll wake and see the light

Miss your ringing phone at night

You'll want to make things right

But I'm not there

You're here but you're gone

And I'm left to carry on

I don't know what to do

With or without you

Is it time to say goodbye

Or another chance to try

I don't know what to do

With or without you

No, I don't know what to do

With or without you

Jude finished the song, dropping the headphones and running out the door. She ran past Kwest and Tommy, sitting at the soundboard and out into the lobby. Tommy looked at Kwest, panicking. _I can't let her leave, not like_ _this._ He got up, running after her. He chased her out of the building and to her car before he caught up to her.

"Jude, wait!" He shouted, making her stop. She turned around and faced him, tears streaming down her face. "The song, it's amazing. Come back inside and we'll work-"

"Why Tommy, so you can tell me I'm stupid again? Don't you think I know that? I was stupid Tommy. I was messed up and stupid. I trusted the wrong person and now I've lost everything, but honestly Tommy do you really think I need to be reminded of that? Do you really think there is a moment that goes by that I am not thinking about it? Well there's not. You act like I let this happen to me, but newsflash for you, I didn't. I wasn't exactly a willing participant in any of it. Wait, why don't you take a look at the rest of the pictures, maybe it will clear things up for you." She grabbed an envelope from her car, throwing it at him." She went to get in her car, wanting nothing more than to get out of there.

"Jude, please stop, talk to me." Tommy said, pleading

"No Tommy, I won't. This time it's your turn to watch me drive away." She got in her car, hitting the gas a little two hard as she drove away, leaving Tommy on the side of the road with nothing but an envelope of pictures.


	18. A Scream Trapped Underwater

Chapter 18 – A Scream Trapped Underwater

_I can't believe I just drove away from Tommy._ Jude thought, tears clouding her vision. _What are you saying?_ She chided herself. _Of course you left him like that. He left you, then came back promising that it was different, and what did he do? He hurt you when you needed him most._ She laughed sarcastically, realizing the irony. _What did I expect? It's not like I can blame him. He wasn't exactly prepared for those pictures in the paper. _ Tears filled his eyes again. _Did he really have to be so mean about it? Doesn't he realize how much I need him? Why couldn't he just hold me, protect me?_ She thought. _Because you wouldn't let him in! How was he supposed to hold you when you would hardly let him near you_?

The battle raged on inside of her brain. One moment she was angry, the next she felt guilty. It was a constant back and forth and she was getting absolutely nowhere. Sometime during her mental war, she turned around. She drove back in the direction of G-Major. She wasn't sure why, but once again right when she was on the verge running away, she couldn't do it. She couldn't leave him behind.

_Why am I doing this? Why am I going back_? She cried inside of her head. It felt like she had no control over her actions. _Because you love him_! The voice in her head reasoned. The tears spilled down her cheeks, creating little rivers. _Not like that matters now._ She thought cynically, wiping the tears away violently. _What is that supposed to mean?_ The voice countered. _Like he could love me after he saw the pictures_. She thought.

"Oh my god, the pictures!" She shouted to no one but herself. Her hand shot up to her mouth, covering it._ Now he is going to know. He is going to know what happened to me. Everything._ Her mind trailed off as the images invaded her mind. She closed her eyes, trying to push them out. Hearing a horn honking frantically, she opened them up, seeing another car coming straight toward her. She hit the brakes, jerking the wheel, but it was too late.

She felt the impact as if it were in slow motion. Her body jerked forward, and she cringed, waiting for her forehead to connect with the windshield. Just before it did, something pulled her back. _The seatbelt._ She slammed back into the seat, feeling pain course through her body. Looking up, she saw the world around her spinning. _No, I'm spinning._ The disorientation was immense. Was that G-Major? She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to clear her vision.

Suddenly another impact threw Jude's body sideways. Shattered glass was raining down on her. She could feel her body being cut by the tiny shards. The pain was unimaginable, and her sight started to grow dim. She fought against it, even as numbness seeped through her body. She could hear someone yelling, but they seemed far away. She tried to find the source of the voice, doing her best to look around. A sharp pain coursed through her neck, pulling her into the darkness. Just before she surrendered, she saw his face.

"Tommy."


	19. The Flower That Shattered The Stone

Chapter 19 – The flower that shattered the stone

Tommy stood in the lobby of G-Major staring at the envelope in his hands. He couldn't bring himself to open it. He had seen the pictures in the paper, he knew what was coming, and yet he hesitated. What if there was more? After the way the first pictures had affected him, he wasn't sure if he could handle more. What if they were worse? He stopped his mind as it spiraled through all of the horrible things that the envelope might contain.

Before he got a chance to find out, he heard squealing brakes followed by an earth shattering crash. His head jerked around looking out the glass doors on the other side of the lobby. _A blue mustang._ He registered. _Jude!_ Tommy took off to the door, praying he was mistaken. He never took his eyes off the car, which was now turned sideways from the force of the impact. He had just reached the door of G-Major when he caught a glimpse of golden blonde hair inside the car. He squeezed his eyes shut at the sight. _Oh god, please let her be ok_. Opening his eyes, he watched in horror as another car slammed into the driver's side of the classic car.

He pushed through the door, running out into the road, without regard for his own safety. He was screaming her name as he neared the car, fearing the worst. Just before he reached her he saw Jude's head turn ever so slightly. A faint sound came from her mouth as her eyes seemed to register recognition.

"Tommy."

Jude's eyes closed and her body fell limp against the seat. Tommy's eyes filled with tears and he felt the panic run through him. He pulled at the door handle of the car, but it wouldn't budge. The impact had bent the frame. He pulled again, putting all of his strength into it in desperation. The door pulled free, knocking Tommy backwards. He jumped back up, stumbling toward Jude. He wasn't quite prepared for what he saw.

Jude was covered in blood. Her smooth skin was torn by tiny cuts from the glass that had rained down on her, blanketing her. The side of her head had a large gash, which Tommy guessed had come from her head hitting the side window in the second collision.

_Don't move her._ He thought, frantically trying to remember everything he had ever learned about these types of situations. He knelt down, reaching for her hand. He realized then that he was still holding the envelope that he had been about to open just minutes before. He dropped it onto his knees, unconcerned. He reached for Jude's hand, stroking it softly.

"It's okay, I'm here Jude, and I'm not going to leave you. I promise." He whispered, as if trying to comfort her lifeless body. He checked her pulse. It was faint, but he could still feel it. He brushed her golden locks of hair away from her face, cringing at the blood that was streaked through them. He resumed his previous position, gently holding her hand in both of his.

He wasn't sure how long he sat there, but all of a sudden lights and sirens surrounded him. He felt an arm gently pulling him backwards. He resisted momentarily, not wanting to let go of her hand, but realized he was in the way of the only people who could save her.

He grabbed the envelope, standing up, and stumbled back a few feet, allowing the medics to get to Jude. He watched as they surrounded the car, his heart breaking for Jude. They worked quickly stabilizing her neck before pulling her gently out of the car. They laid her down on the stretcher waiting behind them.

They rushed her to the ambulance shouting out orders to the medics waiting inside the ambulance. The stretcher disappeared into the back, along with most of the medics. The last one paused, turning around quickly.

"I assume one of you is going to ride to the hospital with her." He stated, glancing in Tommy's direction. _One of us?_ He thought, turning around. For the first time since he heard the crash, he was aware that there were others around him, namely the entire G-Major staff.

Tommy glanced toward Sadie. She was the obvious choice to go, being the only actual relative. Sadie, however, was in no condition to go. She was crying hysterically, unable to hold herself up. Kwest held onto her, giving Tommy a helpless look.

"I'll go." He said, quickly jumping in the ambulance. Moments later they were racing off to the hospital, leaving the rest of G-Major standing shocked in the streets of Toronto.


	20. Doors Lead To Questions

Chapter 20 – Doors lead to questions

The trip to the hospital seemed excruciatingly long. Several times Tommy actually found himself wondering whether time had stopped altogether. He was terrified for Jude, who was lying unconscious on the stretcher in front of him. Tommy couldn't take his eyes off of her. _Jude._ He thought. _My Jude._ He let out a tiny sob which went unnoticed in the hectic ambulance. Medics were all around Jude, trying to assess the situation, and as much as Tommy tried to block it out, he couldn't help but hear the desperation in their voices.

Now Tommy may not have been overly educated, but he knew a thing or two about life. He knew that it was never good to hear the phrases 'head trauma' and 'severe blood loss' in the same sentence. When he heard those exact phrases slip out of the mouth of one of the medics, he nearly lost it. _You have to be strong for Jude._ He reminded himself. _She needs you._

Suddenly, the ambulance stopped and the doors burst open. Within moments, Jude's stretcher had been unloaded and was rolling toward the emergency room. Tommy ran after it, struggling to keep pace with the frantic doctors. Through the doors they went, Tommy in tow. He was stopped in the lobby, being told he couldn't come any farther. Frustrated he began to pace back and forth in the lobby, drawing the attention of everyone else there.

The receptionist handed Tommy some forms to fill out. Sadie and Kwest still had not arrived, so she asked him to fill out what he could. He sat down in the waiting area, looking at the paperwork. Name, age, date of birth, height, weight, those were all simple. He jotted down the answers, continuing on. Blood type. _O negative_. He thought.

It seemed strange that he would know that, but he thought back to a day in the studio when they had been talking instead of working. She had been making fun of him about a paper cut he had been complaining about.

"_Don't worry Quincy, I'll save you before you die" she said, grinning at him._

"_And how do you plan to do that?" He said, challenging her with his eyes_

"_Well." She said smirking. "If you lose too much blood from that 'huge' cut in your finger, I can always give you a blood transfusion." She informed him._

"_Oh, yeah?" He laughed. "What makes you so sure you are compatible with my blood type?" He asked, daring her to come up with an answer to that one. _

"_Because my blood is O negative" She answered breezily. "I'm compatible with everyone." She smirked and Tommy rolled his eyes, unable to suppress his laughter. The things this girl came up with_.

Tommy came back to the present, glancing down the list of questions. He found he knew the answer to each and every one of them. Medical history, allergies, habits; he knew them all. He finished the paperwork, handing it back to the nurse. She looked up in surprise when she saw the completed form. She gave him a look that said she understood, and went back to her work.

Tommy sat in silence staring at the doors that Jude had been wheeled through. It seemed like an eternity passed while he waited for someone, anyone to come back out of the room. Sometime during the wait Kwest, Sadie, Darius, and Mason arrived at the hospital, all wanting to know what was going on.

"I don't know." He said truthfully. "They took her in there." He pointed toward the ominous doors. He contemplated telling them what he had heard in the ambulance, but he couldn't bring himself to say the words out loud, so he stayed silent. The small group just huddled together in silence, hoping for the best.

Five pairs of eyes were locked onto the doctor that emerged from the doors quite a while later. He looked tired, the day's stress evident on his face. He walked in their direction, doing his best to smile amicably. Tommy jumped up, meeting him half way.

"Are you all with Jude Harrison?' The doctor asked. He looked at Tommy, then at the others. Their heads nodded slightly in recognition.

"Yes, we are." He said. "How is she? Is she going to be ok?" There was a hint of desperation in his voice.

"Well," the doctor said, "she lost a lot of blood, but we managed to stabilize her. Once we did that, we bandaged her up. She had a broken wrist and a few bruised ribs from the seat belt, but no major damage. She was really lucky. She did however sustain a fairly significant injury to her head. We ran some tests, not sure of the severity. The good news is that it appears to be that the head trauma was mild, and shouldn't cause any permanent damage. However we won't be able to know for sure until-"

"Until what?" Tommy broke in, speaking the question that was in all of their minds.

"Until she wakes up." The doctor said quietly. He looked down briefly before returning his eyes to the people he was addressing. "Ms. Harrison has slipped into a coma."


	21. A Song With No Words

Chapter 21 – A song with no words

_Coma. _The word seemed to echo through the room. It sank into each and every one of them, implanting itself in their brains. Darius gripped his chair tightly and Mason's head fell into his hands. Sadie let out a quiet whimper, and Kwest squeezed her tightly, feeling tears fall down his cheeks. Tommy's vision began to blur, becoming fuzzy around the edges. He reached out, feeling for the wall. Holding himself up, he fought the urge to pass out.

"How long is she going to be unconscious? Do you know?" He asked, images of movies and television shows where people were in comas for years invading his mind.

"Well, it's very hard to tell. We are still running tests, but in all reality, we just don't know. Many times it's just a few days or weeks, but there is a chance that we could be looking at a longer period. All we can do right now is monitor her to make sure everything heals properly." The doctor said, wishing he had some better news, or at least some better answers for them. This was the part of the job he never got used to. Watching loved ones break down was always hard.

"Can we see her?" Tommy heard himself saying. He needed to see her. He needed to hold her hand and tell her it was going to be alright. Looking back up at the doctor he noticed a slightly pained look in his face.

"Family only, I'm afraid." He said, looking sadly at the group before him.

"We are her family." Sadie responded standing up abruptly from her position next to Kwest. She joined Tommy, looking directly at the doctor.

"Listen, I know how you all must feel, but-"

"But, nothing." Sadie said. Tommy wasn't sure where this newfound determination had come from. Just minutes ago she had been sobbing in Kwest's arms, hardly able to hold herself up. She narrowed her eyes. "Look, Jude is my sister, and I think that means I know a little bit more about her than you do. We are her family. She needs us right now, and I will be damned if I am going to let you tell us that we cannot see her." The doctor looked back at her in surprise. He wasn't expecting that, especially from her. He stood silent for a moment, contemplating what to do. He knew the policy rules, but really, what was the harm?

"I suppose." He said, giving in. "No more than two at a time though, at least for today." Sadie nodded, giving him a small smile. It was the least he could do, she seemed so sad. In a way, she reminded him of her own daughter; bright and determined, but the light was gone from her eyes.

"Sadie, you and Kwest go." Tommy said, "I have to check on Angie." He grabbed his cell phone and walked away from the group, quickly dialing the number. He was thankful he had found a nanny for her. He didn't want her to ever have to witness anything like this. He connected, talking quietly to the person on the other line. A few minutes later he hung up the phone, walking back toward Mason. Darius had disappeared. Tommy sat down, putting his head in his hands.

"She's going to be alright, I mean nothing could really ever happen to her right?" Mason asked, breaking the silence. Everything seemed so surreal right now. Jude was like a sister to him, and right now, he didn't even know if she was ever going to wake up. "She has to be okay, she just has to." He said quietly.

Tommy wasn't sure what to say. He wanted to tell Mason that everything was going to be alright, but was it? The love of his life was lying in a hospital bed, and the doctors had no answers.

"Jude's a fighter." He said finally. "She won't give up on us." Mason nodded, trying to believe in Tommy's words. The two sat in silence for a few minutes before Darius returned.

"I have some good news, well as good as can be expected at a moment like this. The leading expert in head trauma injuries such as the one that Jude has sustained is flying in from Los Angeles tonight. He will see Jude first thing tomorrow morning." Darius said, the hope evident in his voice. "If anyone can give us some answers, he will be the one to do it."

Tommy stared at Darius in shock. _Wow, he must have pulled a lot of strings. Not to mention paid a lot of money._ He thought. He wasn't exactly surprised, he knew that Darius cared about Jude and hated seeing her like this just as much as the rest of them did. What was surprising was how quickly he had gotten it taken care of. The connections the man had were extraordinary.

Sadie and Kwest came back out of the room, fresh tears on both of their faces. Sadie looked exhausted, the emotions really taking a toll on her. Tommy felt bad for her, and knowing he wasn't going to be leaving anytime soon, he decided to give her a chance to get some rest.

"Why don't you guys go get some rest?" He said, as he watched them fall back into the uncomfortable plastic waiting room chairs. The two looked back at him, unsure. They didn't want to leave her, but they really did need to get some sleep. Sadie looked into Tommy's eyes, searching for some sort of verification, a sign that he was sincere. Satisfied with what she saw, she nodded slightly.

"Take care of my sister." She said, standing up and hugging him softly. "Let us know if anything changes." She gathered up her purse, glancing at the door to Jude's room one last time before walking slowly to the door. Tommy heard her whisper quietly just as she walked through the doorway. "I love you Jude."

Mason and Darius had gone to see Jude while Tommy was talking to Sadie and Kwest. He waited for them to come back, thinking quietly to himself. His mind kept replaying the wreck over and over again. Every detail was just as vivid and horrifying as it had been when it happened. Tears stung his eyes as he tried to stop his mind from replaying the scene.

Not long after Sadie and Kwest left, Mason and Darius emerged from the room. Mason was pale and visibly shaken, and Darius had a faraway look in his eyes. Silence fell between the three of them, each one lost in his own thoughts. Finally Darius interrupted the quiet.

"I am going to take Mason home." He said quietly to Tommy. "Then I have to get a hold of Liam, let him know what is going on. Are you going to stay here with Jude?" Tommy nodded. There was no way he was going to leave her. "Are you going to be okay Tom?" Darius asked, concern written in his face.

"Not until Jude wakes up." Tommy said, almost inaudibly. Darius glanced at him, a sad look on his face. He nodded in understanding, patting Tommy on the back. He and Mason left the waiting room, leaving Tommy alone. Taking a breath, Tommy turned towards Jude's room. He walked slowly, opening the door quietly. His eyes fell onto Jude, lying helplessly in the hospital bed. He felt the tears well up and his heart break.

"Jude."


	22. Pictures Of Pain

Chapter 22 – Pictures Of Pain

She was beautiful. Covered in cuts and bruises, bandaged up, and hooked to countless machines, she was still beautiful. She looked so fragile, like glass. It seemed like even breathing wrong might cause her to shatter. He knelt by her bedside quietly, as if afraid to disturb her peaceful state. He took her hand, rubbing soft circles into the back of it.

"I love you Jude." He said softly. He felt tears begin to run down his face once again, but he didn't bother to wipe them away. He just let them fall. Soon the steady rhythm of the machines calmed him, giving him a sense of comfort. He stood up, never letting go of Jude's hand. He pulled one of the chairs closer to the bed, sitting down in it.

Tommy sat there for hours, not moving. Nurses came and went, checking Jude's vitals and the machines. They didn't have the heart to tell Tommy that visiting hours were long over, so they just let him sit, gently holding her hand. Their visits became less frequent as the hours rolled on, yet Tommy remained by her side, watching her chest rise and fall peacefully.

It wasn't until the middle of the night that Tommy finally moved. It had begun to feel stuffy in the room, and Tommy finally, reluctantly dropped Jude's hand. He took his jacket off, laying it over the back of the chair. An envelope peeked out of the inner pocket

_The pictures._ He thought. In all of the madness, he had completely forgotten about them. He kind of wished he could forget about them now, but alas, there they were, in the corner of his mind. He pulled the envelope out slowly, wincing at the dried droplets of blood that speckled the envelope. He thought back, trying to remember exactly how they had gotten into his jacket pocket. He remembered folding them gently and shoving them in the pocket as he jumped in the ambulance. They had been there the whole time.

He ran his finger along the edge of the envelope, working up the courage to open it. He looked back at Jude. Even in sleep, she looked sad, broken. _I would give anything to take her pain away._ He thought. _But to do that, I have to know what her pain is. I have to face it, just like she did._ Tommy took a deep breath and pulled the set of pictures from the envelope.

The first few pictures were the ones that he had seen in the paper. Jude was passed out; her make up smeared and her clothes half off. Tommy clenched his jaw, bracing himself mentally before continuing on. He shuffled through the pictures, his grip around them tightening with every one. He felt the anger rise inside of him as he discovered exactly what Kwest hadn't had the heart to tell him. _That bastard._ He thought _How could he do this to her. He took her innocence away. He raped her._ Each word dropped like a ton of bricks on Tommy's heart. By this time Tommy was seeing red. _If that little punk wasn't in jail already, I would kill him. In fact, if he ever gets out, that's exactly what I will do. I will kill him._

Tommy's eyes fell onto Jude's unconscious body and all of the anger inside of him melted away. _This is what she had been dealing with. This is what she has had to keep locked inside._ He thought, feeling the guilt set in. _I was so wrapped up in my own problems that I didn't even see. I failed her; I let her down when she needed me the most._ Fresh tears filled his eyes, as he wept for Jude, for the part of her she would never get back. _Never again._ He resolved. _Nobody will ever hurt her again._

The sun rose to find Tommy curled up in the chair next to the bed, gently grasping Jude's hand. The nurses slipped quietly in and out of the room, not wanting to wake Tommy. He looked so adorable, so protective of Jude. Even in sleep he wore a look of concern etched into his face. Though he was curled up in the chair, his body was turned slightly toward Jude, as if watching over her, even in sleep.

Tommy woke from his peaceful slumber when he heard noise inside of the room. His head jerked up, startled, and his hand tightened around Jude's instinctively. His eyes focused and he found himself staring at Sadie, Kwest, and Darius. They were all smiling sadly, touched by the scene they had just interrupted. After several minutes of silence, Darius finally spoke up.

"The doctor is ready to see Jude. He wants to run more tests, that way he can check for inconsistencies." Darius informed the others. "She will be gone for at least a couple of hours, T. You should go home and get some rest. The nurse said you didn't leave her side all night."

"I didn't, and I am not going to." Tommy said simply.

"T, man, Darius is right." Kwest said. "You need to take care of yourself. Grab some food, get some rest. You can't take care of her if you can't even take care of yourself. We will hang out here until her tests are done. We promise we won't leave her on her own until you get back." Tommy struggled with the decision. He didn't want to leave Jude, but they were right.

"I guess, but only for a few hours, then I will be back." He said, as if promising both himself and Jude. A moment later the door swung open and a young doctor strolled in. He smiled at the group, trying his best to appear cheery.

"I think it's about time we get Ms. Harrison down to the lab for her tests."


	23. Little Angel

Chapter 23 – Little Angel

Tommy started his car, backing slowly out of the parking lot. He absently fiddled with the radio. He stopped abruptly when the words of "Hey Jude" by the beetles filled the car. He shivered slightly. It was funny that her name could still do that to him. He drove on, resisting the urge to turn around and go back.

He arrived home, quietly unlocking the door. Down the hall he could hear the delighted squeals of his precious daughter. For the first time since the accident, he felt his mouth stretch into a smile. He stopped in the entranceway, picking up the mail from the side table, he rifled through it. A letter caught his eye, drawing his gaze to the American flag in the corner. _My father._ He thought, shaking his head. _Probably just another lecture_. He tossed the letter back on the table dismissively, not wanting to deal with it at the time. He didn't notice as the letter slid quietly across the table and off the other side, disappearing behind the table.

He walked into the kitchen, a beaming five year old running toward him with a smile that lit up the room. She jumped into his arms, hugging his neck tightly.

"I missed you daddy!" She squealed. "Where were you?" She looked at him with questions in her eyes. He smiled softly at her before answering.

"I was taking care of a friend." He said quietly.

"Was your friend sick, Daddy?" Angie said, her eyes brimming with concern. Tom smiled, there was such beauty in her innocence. He sighed, trying to figure out what to tell his daughter.

"She got hurt, sweetie. She's at the hospital now." A single tear rolled down his cheek as he thought about Jude lying unconscious in the bed, hooked to all sorts of machines. Angie watched him carefully, reaching up and wiping the tear away.

"Why are you sad, daddy? Is she going to be okay?" Angie said, tears welling up in her own eyes. She looked at him for answers, but Tom wasn't sure what to say.

"I hope so, sweetie. I'm sad because I love her, and I am really worried. I want her to be alright." He said, taking a deep breathe. This was the first time he had really put his emotions into words. It was amazing the insight that could be found in a conversation with a five year old.

"Is she that pretty blonde girl in all your pictures? The one I saw at your work?" Angie said softly. Tom looked at her, taken aback. It was almost as if she had read his mind. It was incredible how perceptive she really was. He smiled softly.

"Yeah, it is. She's really special to me Angie. That's why we came back to Canada, because I missed her." He felt a lump grow in his throat. He still couldn't believe he was pouring his heart out to his daughter, and what's more, she seemed to say all the right things. He had to admit, it felt good. It was nice to have someone to talk to.

"What is she like, Daddy?" Angie said, her curious nature getting the best of her. She had walked through the house, looking at all the pictures while Tommy was gone, and she loved the ones of the pretty blonde girl. There were lots of them, mostly in Tommy's room. In some of them she was laughing and singing or dancing around. There was one where the pretty girl was standing on her head, and one where she looked like she was screaming. Angie's favorite was the one of her daddy carrying the girl on his back. They looked so happy, like they were having fun.

Tommy thought for a moment about what he wanted to say about Jude. There was so much he could say, so much he loved about her. He glanced at Angie, her bright eyes sparkling, waiting for an answer.

"Well, her name is Jude, and she's a singer. She has a beautiful voice. Would you like to hear one of her songs?" Angie nodded, and Tommy walked to the entertainment system in the other room. He hit play, knowing the cd was still in the stereo. Her voice filled the room, and Angie's eyes lit up.

"I like it Daddy. Her voice is pretty, just like her. Do you think she would like me Daddy?" Angie asked, her eyes suddenly filled with worry. She wondered if her newfound idol would like her. Tommy saw the look in her eyes and quickly comforted the child's worries by laughing lightly.

"Of course she would, sweetie. You are funny and sweet, just like she is. I bet she would love you." Tommy said, believing wholeheartedly in what he said. Jude loved children. He thought back to the time she spent the day teaching the kids about songwriting. When she was done, all she could talk about was the feeling she got when she saw them, full of life and potential. _They are beautiful_. She had remarked.

"I hope I get to meet her when she gets better, Daddy." Angie said, her words full of hope.

"I hope so too, Angie. I really do."


	24. Glass Rose

Chapter 24 – Glass Rose

Tommy walked through the quiet halls of the hospital, a single red rose in hand. He had bought the rose for Jude, or rather because it reminded him of Jude. It was simple yet exquisite, just like she was. He had bought it from a sidewalk vendor near the hospital. Most of the flowers in the stand were in big bouquets, waiting to be bought. This rose, however, was different. It stood apart from the others, alone in its own beauty. In the instant that Tommy had seen it, he saw Jude, shining on stage, alone in her own light. She was beautiful just like that rose.

Tommy bought the rose, feeling like it belonged with Jude. It was Jude. Now as he quietly opened the door to her room, he anticipated seeing her. She was his rose. Instead, his eyes fell on an empty bed. _What?_ He thought. _Where is she?_ The tests should have been done hours ago, yet she was nowhere to be found. Tommy panicked, dropping the rose onto the bed. He ran out of the room, stopping the first nurse he saw.

"Jude Harrison" He said quickly, and slightly louder than he had intended to. "Where is she?" The nurse, a young woman, seemed frightened by his frantic demeanor. She backed up a few steps before softly replying.

"She's in surgery, sir." Her meek voice relayed. She watched with wide eyes as the realization dawned on Tommy. _Surgery. Surgery means something is wrong._ He ran his hand through his hair, trying to control his spiraling emotions. He reminded himself to breath as the edges of his vision began to blur. The concerned face of the nurse refocused before him as he took a deep breath.

"Where is she?" He asked again, his voice breaking.

"She's in the OR, sir, on the second floor. I think her sister is in the waiting room there." The nurse watched sadness fill his eyes, tears threatening to spill over. He glanced at the floor, attempting to get a hold of himself, but when he looked back up, the sadness was still there.

"Thank you." He said quietly. He headed for the elevator, waiting until the doors closed behind him to lose it completely. "I knew I shouldn't have left. She needed me. How could I have left her like that? I promised, I promised I wouldn't do that." He yelled to the empty elevator. "They said it was just a couple of tests." He rationalized. "How did she end up in surgery?" He stopped talking as if he was waiting for an answer. Instead the elevator dinged, opening silently on the second floor.

"Tommy." He heard his name as he stepped off the elevator. He looked toward the voice, seeing Sadie jump up from the plastic waiting room chair she was sitting in. She ran toward him, collapsing into his arms. Her eyes were red and puffy, her cheeks stained with tears.

"Tommy, thank god you are here." Sadie said through strangled sobs. "They left me here. Darius, he had business to take care of, he said he would be back. Kwest, he went to get us something to eat. They left me here to wait for her. I was just supposed to wait until her tests were done. They would finish, and then she would be back. That's what they said." Sadie stopped to take a breath. She was hysterical, and she was talking too fast for Tommy to catch what she was saying. "Everything was supposed to be okay. They were just tests. I don't know what to do." She broke into sobs, her body shaking too hard to get anything else out.

Sadie looked like Tommy felt on inside. All he wanted to do was break down and cry, but right now, he needed answers, and he wasn't going to get them if he broke down. He took a deep breath, trying to figure out the best way to calm Sadie down. He walked her toward the waiting area, sitting her down in the closest chair. He sat down next to her. After a moment, he gently put his hand on her shoulder. She jumped slightly, as if she had forgotten he was there. She let out a small sob as she came out of her daze.

"Sadie, listen to me." Tommy started, capturing her gaze. "I need to know what happened. I need you to tell me exactly what happened. Why is Jude in surgery?" He watched her closely as his questions registered in her mind. She took a deep breath, trying to collect herself.

"I don't know." She said, her voice trembling. "I don't know what happened. I was waiting for her to get done, but when the doctor came out, he said something was wrong. He said they found something, something they didn't see the first time. He said she needed surgery, the sooner the better." Tears had started falling down her cheeks again. She looked at Tommy, feeling guilty that she didn't have the answers he needed. It had all happened so quickly.

"What did they find, Sadie? What is wrong with Jude?" Tommy asked, praying silently that it wasn't serious.

"I don't know, he didn't explain it. He said there was an injury that hadn't been detected before; a neck injury. He said the surgery had to be done right away, before it caused any more damage." She said. Sadie looked at Tommy who had a far away look in his eyes. She continued, but Tommy didn't hear her. His mind was stuck on two words.

_Neck Injury_.


	25. The Answer To Everything

Chapter 25 – The Answer To Everything

"If you take a look at this x-ray here, you can see a tiny fracture right here at the base of the skull." The doctor said, pointing toward and x-ray of Jude's neck and head. "Because it is so tiny, it wasn't even visible in the first set of x-rays that were taken. We are very lucky we caught it here, because it could very easily have become a serious problem." He glanced up, meeting the gaze of four very confused people.

"I know this seems very minor, but in reality, it is anything but. Because the neck is so sensitive, even a small injury such as this can be very serious, especially when the injury is as close to the brain as this one." The doctor paused, waiting for some indication that they understood what he was saying. Sadie nodded lightly, motioning for him to go on. "To be honest, Jude is incredibly lucky. Injuries such as this, well they nearly always lead to paralysis." He watched as their faces fell, each one registering what he had just said.

"Because we caught it when we did, we managed to prevent any permanent damage. You see, had the fracture been any deeper, it would have caused Jude to lose the use of the lower half of her body. By doing emergency surgery, we repaired the bone, preventing paralysis altogether." He paused, enjoying the looks of relief that flooded their faces. He loved giving families good news, it made his whole job worthwhile.

"What does this mean for Jude, right now? Is she going to be okay? What about the coma?" Darius said. He was starting to get impatient. He wanted answers. What he really wanted was for Jude to be okay, but right now, he wanted answers.

"Well, it appears to be that this injury is what caused Jude to slip into the coma. You see, when she was thrown sideways by the second impact, her neck was jarred, pulling it out of alignment. It put a great amount of stress on this area right here." He pointed to the area right around the fracture. "When the pressure became too great, it fractured. In that instant, the pressure was transferred to the lower cranial area, here." He pointed slight above the fracture. "This is the equivalent of a blow to the head. When it happened, it caused her to lose consciousness."

"So, what does this mean for her now? I mean you repaired the fracture, does that mean she's going to wake up?" Tommy asked, wanting to be reassured.

"Well, right now that is in Jude's hands. Everything appears to be healing properly, and there are no signs of brain damage, but there is no way to wake her up. All we can do is wait for her to wake up on her own. In the meantime, we will monitor her closely and make sure everything is going smoothly."

"Thank you, doctor" Darius said, leading the others out the door of the lab. They walked slowly back toward the elevator, each one lost in his or her own thoughts. They rode up in silence, never once catching each others gaze. They were relieved, and yet they were frightened. It was all so unclear. Jude's life was hanging in the balance, and they all prayed it would turn out alright.

They walked into Jude's room, heads turned to the floor. Tommy looked up first, seeing Jude lying peacefully in the bed. She looked so serene, as though she was trying to comfort them, reassure them that everything was going to be alright. His eyes drifted to the rose. It had been carefully placed into a vase filled with water. Tommy didn't know who had found it, but he silently thanked them nonetheless.

"That rose." Sadie said in surprise. "It's beautiful." She stared reverently at it, as though it had appeared there by magic.

"It is beautiful." Tommy said softly. "Just like Jude."


	26. Paper Roses

Chapter 26 – Paper Roses

The vase now held six roses, one for each day that Jude had been unconscious. Tommy had gone out religiously every afternoon and bought the most beautiful rose he could find. He glanced at them, slowly counting them for the millionth time. Six. Six roses meant that it had been seven days since Jude's accident. Exactly one week since Tommy's whole world had come crashing down around him.

The cuts that littered her body were healing, and the bruises had faded. She had regained the rosy color in her cheeks, and her skin glowed softly. Still, she slept. Each day Tommy sat beside her, and each night he slept with his hands gently enveloping hers. There was a sadness in his eyes that brought tears to everyone who came to visit. He was broken without her.

The only time he left the hospital was when he went home to see Angie. He felt guilty about not being there with her, but in his heart he knew she was okay. She was happy and strong, and to Tommy it seemed, she was wise beyond her years. Each day when he would come home she would climb up in his lap. She would give him a kiss and ask him if Jude was feeling better. He would sigh gently and tell her that Jude was still sleeping. Without saying another word, Angie would wrap her arms around him and quietly say, 'Don't worry, Daddy. She will be okay.'

Tommy came back to reality as he felt tears sting his eyes. _She will be okay_. He thought quietly to himself. He sat in quiet contemplation for a while, thinking of the things he would like to tell Jude. Things he would tell Jude, just as soon as she woke up. His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the door opening. Tommy looked up, his eyes falling on the Doctor's kind face.

"Just came to see how Jude is doing today." The doctor said in an upbeat tone. Tommy didn't move as the doctor began to check Jude's vitals. He made a few notes on his clipboard, smiling softly. "Everything looks good." He turned to leave but Tommy called out just before he made it to the door.

"Doctor." He said, jumping up from his place. "Do you have a minute?" He followed the doctor out into the hall. He turned around, facing Tom. His eyes were soft. He wasn't exactly sure about the story behind this young man, but he did know one thing. He loved that girl very much. You could see it in his eyes, the way he would watch her sleep, and the way he sat with her every single day, as if there was nothing else in the world for him to do. His heart went out to Tom.

"Of course a have a few minutes, what can I do for you?" He caught Tommy's gaze, noticing the questions fill his eyes. Tommy hesitated, not sure what he was trying to say. Finally he just started, hoping the words would come to him as he went.

"It's been a week doctor, and she is still unconscious. Are you sure that everything is alright? I mean is there some reason that she is still in a coma?" Tommy looked at him with pleading eyes. He was hurting, and he needed someone to tell him it was going to be ok.

"Everything is healing very well, Mr. Quincy. To be honest, there is nothing preventing her from waking up, at least not medically speaking. It seems that she isn't ready to wake up on her own. For some reason, she doesn't want to wake up." He glanced softly down at Tommy, knowing this had to be hard for him. Nobody wanted to hear that there was nothing that could be done. "Do you want to know what I would recommend?" He asked, hoping to be able to provide some comfort. Tommy nodded, desperate for advice. He was lost, and he needed help. "Talk to her. Now we can't be positive, but every indication we have seems to point to the notion that comatose patients can hear what is going on around them. Right now she is battling to recover mentally from the accident, and knowing that there is someone waiting for her might help her win that battle. Share memories, things that are going on in life, anything. Just try to remind her of all the things she has to live for. I can't guarantee that it will work, but honestly, it can't hurt."

The doctor placed a gentle hand on Tommy's shoulder before quietly walking away; leaving Tommy with the advice he had just given him. Tommy walked absently back into Jude's room, resuming his place by her bedside. He took her hand in his, replaying the words the doctor had said. _She doesn't want to wake up_. He thought silently. Suddenly, Jude's voice filled his mind, singing sadly to him.

_I don't want to wake up when I know you won't be there, and I can't seem to move on, now that I know that you don't care._

The realization hit Tommy like a brick. It was his fault. She wasn't waking up because of him, because he had failed her. Tears welled up in his eyes as the guilt seeped through him. Inside of his mind, the song continued to play.

_I hope this is the last night, I can't take another day._

She was giving up. He couldn't let her; he couldn't let her give up the fight. He had to show her he was there, that he really did care, but how? Suddenly the answer hit him. There was one thing that Jude would understand, one way to tell her what he was feeling. It was the one thing that Tommy was sure of. It was the one thing Jude always understood, the one thing she would always understand. Music.

_I will write her a song_.


	27. I Only Sing These Songs For You

Chapter 27 – I only wrote this song for you

Pulling up to his house, Tommy jumped out of the car, his mind racing ahead of his body. There was a sense of urgency within him that propelled him through the door. Thirty seconds later he was sitting in his music room, guitar in hand. He brushed his fingers across the strings, letting the music take hold of him. Racking his brain, Tommy tried to find lyrics that would fit the melody he was absently strumming, but it seemed as though he hit a virtual brick wall.

His hands stopped moving, letting the guitar rest in his lap. What was he supposed to say? How could he even begin to put into words the feelings he held in his heart. It was impossible, there were just too many. _Slow down_. He thought. _What would you tell Jude at a moment like this?_ He took a deep breath recounting all of the various songwriting sessions between the two of them.

_Okay, why are you writing this?_ He thought to himself. _To tell Jude how I feel._ He countered. He set the guitar down and started pacing. _What do you want to say to her? _ He stopped short at the gravity of this question. There were so many things, millions of things he wanted to say to her, but right now, he narrowed it down to three things. _I want to tell her I loved her, even though she never knew. I want to say I am sorry for the pain I have caused her, and most of all I want to promise her that if she wakes up, I will never let her down again._

Tommy seemed to marvel at his own revelation for a moment. Then, as if someone had hit a switch, Tommy jumped into action. He picked up the guitar, resuming the sweet melody that he had been playing in the beginning. Words began to flow out, capturing his feelings in the soft lyrics. He grabbed a notebook and began to write, crossing out and rearranging until he had what he wanted. He looked tentatively at the page, seeing his heart written there.

A pair of brown eyes peered around the door frame of the music room. For a while they just watched silently, filling with awe as Tommy toyed with his guitar, stopping now and then to write something in the notebook. Being so intensely focused on what he was doing, he failed to notice that he was being watched. After a while he stopped, picking up the notebook like there was something amazing there.

"Daddy what are you doing?" The owner of the brown eyes tiptoed into the room, looking curiously at Tom. He smiled at her, aware for the first time that he wasn't alone. He set the guitar down, motioning her over to him. Tom picked her up, setting her on his knee.

"I'm writing a song, sweetie." He said, smoothing her hair gently. She looked up at him, the light in her eyes glowing. She jumped off of his lap, turning around to face him.

"Can I hear it, Daddy? Please?" She pleaded. He nodded gently, picking the guitar back up. He ran his fingers gently over the strings, losing himself in the rhythm. He let the words flow, closing his eyes and feeling the music. When he was through, he opened his eyes, glancing softly at Angie. Without speaking she climbed back up into his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Is the song for Jude?" Angie asked sweetly. Her eyes were full of concern. She watched as Tommy's expression changed slightly. A distant look came into his eyes and he nodded again. "Don't worry, Daddy, she will wake up. I bet she was just really tired." He smiled a little and hugged her back, still amazed at the wisdom a child can hold.

For quite a while they sat like that, pulled into a tight embrace, until Tommy noticed that Angie had drifted to sleep. He stood up gently, trying not to wake her, and carried her into her room. He laid her in bed, softly kissing her forehead. He covered her gently with a blanket before turning on a nightlight and closing the door. Walking down the hall, he grabbed his guitar out of the music room and headed for the door. He called out softly to Sophia, the nanny, that he was headed back to the hospital, and stepped out the door into the cool Toronto air.

Arriving at the hospital, Tommy found himself growing nervous with anticipation. A rose in one hand and his guitar in the other, he slipped quietly through the doors. He nodded politely to the nurses and doctors, all of which knew his face by now. Everyday he would walk by, and as soon as the elevator doors closed the gossip began.

Was that little Tommy Q? They would ask. He must be here to see Jude. Is there something going on between them? Another would say. Of course there is, he is here all the time. One would counter. Have you seen the way he looks at her? They would all nod. It must be love. A somewhat sour look comes to their faces as their secret fantasy of a late night rendezvous with the illustrious Mr. Quincy is torn away. They go about their business, pretending not to care.

The elevator doors swung open, revealing a pale faced Tommy. Could he really do this? Could he really walk in there and sing Jude the song he had just written? Knowing that Jude wouldn't actually be looking at him while he sang it didn't make it any easier. He was nervous as hell, but he knew he had to do it. This was his chance to put his heart out on the table. He took a deep breath and stepped off of the elevator.

Stepping into her room, Tommy closed the door. He placed rose number seven in the vase, glancing at Jude's for a moment. He sat down, contemplating how to start. Should he just start singing? Should he explain what he was going to do first? He wasn't sure what the standard for love songs sung to comatose patients was, so he decided to just get started and see where he ended up.

"So, Jude." He started, feeling sort of awkward talking to her like this. "You see, the doctors here, they said that it might help you wake up if I talked to you, because they think maybe you can hear me. Since I know how much you love music, I figured that singing would be better than just talking. If you can understand anything, it's music, so I am hoping the doctors are right Jude, I hope you can understand me, because well, there is something I want to tell you Jude. I need you to wake up Jude; I need you to wake up so I can tell you I love you." Tommy stopped his rambling and picked up the guitar. He took a deep breath, letting his fingers brush against the cold strings. Soon he was engulfed in the sound of the guitar, letting it take him, he began to sing.

I cracked when you broke

And I cried when you spoke

But you never knew

No you never knew

Your eyes haunted me

They won't let me be

But you never knew

No you never knew

I left and you cried

We both kind of died

And I'm sorry, I'm sorry

I caused you this pain

I won't do it again

I'm sorry, I'm sorry

You're lying alone

In a world made of stone

Please wake up

Just wake up

I promise today

That I'm here to stay

Please wake up

Just wake up

I'll make it right

Don't give up the fight

I'm sorry, I'm sorry

I want you to be

Right here with me

I'm sorry, I'm sorry

It's my fault you're here

But I'll counter your fear

If you wake up

Please wake up

Wake up

He ended his song in a whisper, opening his eyes. He sat in silence for several minutes watching Jude sleep. Quietly he began to tell her of all the memories the two shared. The late nights at the studio, all of the performances, the songwriting sessions, the stupid fights, the inside jokes; he talked quietly for hours, recounting every moment he could think of, every glance, every laugh.

Long after the sun had faded, Tommy sat with his hands wrapped around Jude's, his head resting on his arms. The room was silent except for the quiet beep of the machines. He had fallen asleep, sweet memories resting in his mind.


	28. What A Way To Wake Up

Chapter 28 – What a way to wake up

_The angels sing beautiful songs._ She thought, listening to the soft music drift through the darkness. She didn't understand the words; at least, she didn't know what they were. They seemed familiar, yet foreign, as if it was the language of another life. She couldn't make sense of them. Her heart knew them though, she could feel it. The music flowed around her and her heart swelled in happiness. The feeling was nice, comfortable, so she let herself get lost in it.

Long after the music had faded, her heart sang on. It was pure joy that emanated from her soul, and it warmed her entire being from the inside out. She basked in the feeling, wondering how long it had been. When did she last feel this kind of love? She wasn't sure of the answer, time had stopped making sense long before, but to her, but it seemed like a lifetime since she had felt so completely engulfed in happiness.

This new, exotic feeling of elation made her want to search for an answer to the emptiness surrounding her. She wanted to find the source of the beautiful music. She was floating in the darkness, but it was almost as if she could feel the light.

The world weighed more than she remembered. Just trying to open her eyes seemed to take massive amounts of energy. It was as if they were cemented shut, locked in the void she had become accustomed to. The world was also brighter than she remembered. So bright in fact that it blinded her.

Pretty colors danced along her line of vision, slowly coming into focus. _Flowers._ She thought as outlines began to form around the brightly colored dots. _Roses._ She struggled to separate the colors from one another, counting them in her mind. _Seven. There are seven roses._ She felt like a child, just learning how the world functioned. The lines became more defined and she studied the roses more carefully. One stood slightly higher than the others, as if in defiance. Its deep red stood out against the pale walls. _Beautiful_. She thought.

Glancing back up at the ceiling, her mind tried to make sense of where she was, how she had gotten there. She lifted her left hand slowly, examining the cast she wore. She dropped it down, switching her focus to her right arm. She attempted to lift it, feeling an unknown force holding it down gently.

She glanced down rather quickly, regretting the motion instantly. Her neck was stiff and sore, clearly having been in the same position for far too long. Glancing down again, more slowly, she noticed her hand was hidden within another set of hands, considerably larger than hers. She followed the arms up, stopping abruptly on her companion's face.

_Tommy._

Jude froze, unsure of what to do. All of the memories came flooding back to her; Tommy leaving, her breakdown, hitting number one, the pictures, Tommy coming back, their fight, the car accident. _The car accident!_ She thought. _That's how I got here_. She played the scene back in her head, reliving the pain of each moment vividly. Memories flashed behind her eyes; the car coming towards her, the impact, the world spinning, another impact, pain, a voice, Tommy, darkness. _Wait, Tommy?_

Her mind rewound to the moment she saw him. He was running toward her, screaming. It was his voice she had heard. There was pure terror in his eyes. Fear and despair in his voice. She looked down at her hand again, protectively wrapped in his. She let the warmth of his hands wash over her. It enveloped her, just like the warmth she had felt before she woke up. The feeling emanated throughout her. It felt good, to have him there, holding her hand.

She wondered silently how long the moment could last. If it lasted forever, Jude wouldn't complain. In that moment, she was perfectly content. She could spend her life in the calm warm silence of that moment. She knew that wouldn't happen, because after all, it was just a moment, but one thing was for sure, she wasn't going to interrupt it.


	29. Good Morning Beautiful

**Hey guys, so sorry for the lack of updates in the last few days. Things have been crazy for me lately and I temporarily lost track of everything. Anyways, I am back and the updating shall continue... **

**S.G.

* * *

**

Chapter 29 – Good Morning Beautiful

The rays of sun shining through the window woke Tommy from his slumber. He opened his eyes, glancing in Jude's direction. He found a pair of big blue eyes staring back at him. His jaw dropped and his face went pale. She was awake. Sleeping beauty had woken up.

"Good morning." She whispered, laughing slightly at the look on his face. It seemed like a miracle; to him she was a miracle. A silent moment passed between the two as Tommy tried to process the situation. As if the light suddenly clicked on, Tommy jumped up from his seat, his face flooding with happiness and relief. He enveloped Jude in a gentle hug, taking care not to hurt her. "Did you miss me, Quincy?" she asked, laughter in her voice.

"You have no idea, girl, I am just so glad that you are okay. I've been so worried about you." Tears sprung into his eyes as he spoke but he didn't wipe them away. He ran his hand through her hair, grazing her cheek softly with his fingers. The warmth in her smooth cheeks let him know that it wasn't a dream. She was real; she was really going to be alright. Everything was going to be alright.

"You act like I almost died or something." She said; rolling her eyes. The smile dropped from his face, an unreadable look flashing in his eyes. He sat back down, quietly taking her hand in his. The grin faded from her face as she noticed the change in his demeanor. "What is it?" She asked. "What is going on?" She panicked slightly, something wasn't right. There was something Jude didn't know, and Tommy's reaction was starting to worry her.

"Jude, you did almost die." He glanced up at her, gauging her reaction. Her eyes had widened, and her grip on his hand had tightened. She motioned for him to continue. He hesitated, not sure how to proceed. He knew he had to tell her, but he wasn't sure how to do it.

"Tell me what happened, Tommy, please. I need to know." She looked into his eyes, refusing to falter. She wasn't sure she wanted to hear it, but she needed to know. The fear was growing in her mind. Was there something wrong with her, something that would never heal?

Finally he just pushed on, letting the words come to him as he talked. "Jude, the accident, it really messed you up. The broken wrist, the cuts and bruises, they were all minor, but there was more. You hit your head on the window, and you lost a lot of blood. They spent hours stabilizing you. Then they found something else, a neck injury. It is a miracle you aren't paralyzed, Jude. The injury caused brain trauma. You slipped into a coma, we didn't know if you would ever wake up." He glanced up at her, watching her cheeks visibly pale. She looked like she had been slapped.

"How long? How long was I unconscious?" She asked, looking down at the bed, memorizing the pattern of the blanket.

"A week, Jude. You were unconscious for a week." Tears fell silently down her cheeks as the words hit her. _I was almost killed. I lost an entire week of my life. I could have been paralyzed_. It all seemed to crash down on her. She closed her eyes trying to make some sort of sense of it.

Tommy felt tremendously guilty about dropping it all on her so quickly. He could see her struggling with it, and he felt so helpless. He squeezed her hand, trying to let her know that he was there for her. After a few moments, Jude blinked a few times before looking up at Tommy, her blue eyes blazing.

"Wow." She said quietly. She laughed, but the humor was gone from her voice. She glanced down at her hand, still encased in Tommy's. She let her breath out slowly. She was glad he had told her, but it was still a lot to take in. They sat for a while, a comfortable silence between them. There were a million things that Tommy wanted to tell Jude, but they could wait. Instead he sat with her, giving her a chance to think. He knew there was a lot to think about, and unlike Tommy, Jude hadn't had a week to let it all sink in.

Jude was grateful that Tommy was there with her. Everything was so immense that it almost seemed like she would get lost in the details. She held onto Tommy's hand, feeling the comfort that it brought. She wasn't exactly sure what had happened in the last week, but she could feel a difference in Tommy. There was a closeness and an intimacy between the two that hadn't been there before. She wasn't sure where it came from, but she didn't question it. There would be time for it later.

Time seemed to stop as the two sat there in blissful silence. A calm had settled over the room, and all was well. Jude was okay and Tommy was there, holding her hand. They both had everything they ever wanted. They sat in their happy daze together until the sound of the door brought them back to reality. A nurse was standing at the door.

"She's awake." She said breathlessly, her face lighting up. She looked almost awestruck. "I'll go get the doctor." She rushed out of the door, leaving Tommy and Jude to chuckle lightly at her reaction.

"I guess that's my cue to go call everyone. They will kill me if they find out I didn't call them right away." Jude nodded; she was looking forward to seeing everyone. She reluctantly let go of Tommy's hand, instantly feeling colder as she did. Just as he got to the door, Tommy turned around, looking at Jude. "I'll be right back. I love you, girl." He walked out the door, leaving Jude astounded, wondering if she had imagined his words. Before she could contemplate it any further, the door opened again, the doctor breezing in.

"It's nice to see you awake Ms. Harrison. We were beginning to wonder." He went about his business, checking vitals and making small talk. They went over what had happened and how she was feeling. They talked candidly, really hitting it off. Finally Jude asked the question that had been nagging at her.

"Doctor." She began. He nodded at her, giving her his full attention. "The coma, what happened? I mean what made me wake up?"

"You did." He said simply. "Though I don't think that it hurt that your boyfriend was here with you." Jude glanced at him confused. _My boyfriend?_ The doctor didn't notice the confusion in her face, and continued on. "You know, you are really lucky. I see a lot of patients come in here, but I rarely see that kind of devotion. I mean I see loved ones come and go, but that young man, he was always here with you. He really loves you."

Jude beamed as the doctor left the room. _My boyfriend._ She thought _I like the sound of that._


	30. A Moment Suspended In Time

Chapter 30 – A Moment Suspended in Time

The next few days went by in a blur. There was a flurry of get well soon cards, flowers, phone calls, and happy visitors. Everyone at G-Major had stopped by to visit at least once, even Liam, who surprised Jude by leaving his biting sarcasm at home for the day. He greeted her with wildflowers and a kiss on the cheek. She accepted them with a suspicious look, wondering what brought about the sudden change in attitude.

Through all of it, Tommy was there with Jude, holding her hand. She loved the feeling of being loved. She never got tired of the way his hand felt in hers; of being able to open her eyes and see his profile silhouetted against the moonlight in the middle of the night; the flicker of envy that she saw in the eyes of the young nurses each time they came into the room.

Jude couldn't help but wonder if it would all change when she got out of the hospital. It seemed so perfect, the little world they had created, but reality was knocking at the door, and Jude knew that sooner or later she would have to open it. She wanted to do so with a good idea of what was waiting for her and that meant she had to talk to Tommy. She needed to know where they stood.

"Tommy?" She said tentatively when they were finally alone. The sun was setting, casting a pink glow through the open shades. He looked up at her, his eyes full of concern. She bit her lip, not sure how to begin. She had avoided this conversation for a reason. She was afraid. Afraid of ruining the wonderful thing they had going on, afraid that he would change his mind. He saw her struggling with her words and reached out to her.

"What is it Jude? You can tell me. I'm here for you." He put his hands on her shoulders. She swallowed hard, trying to get a hold of her nerves. As she fought to find the right words, she silently hoped he was right. She really wanted him to be right.

"The thing is Tommy, I need to know- I need to know what is going on with us. What is this? I mean you are here day and night, but why?" The words flowed out but they didn't sound right. It wasn't what Jude wanted to say, and judging by Tommy's expression, it wasn't what he wanted to hear. "Wait, that didn't come out right. What I mean is what's going to happen when I leave tomorrow? Do we go back to being producer and artist? Friends? Something else?" She glanced up at Tommy, a pleading look in her eyes.

"Jude." He began, looking straight into at her. His eyes were blazing with intensity as he continued on. "This whole time I have been here for you. I didn't do it because you are my artist, or even because you were my friend. I did it because I love you. I have always loved you. It took me almost losing you to realize it, and now that I have, I don't intend to screw it up again." He paused, allowing her to take in what he had just said. She glanced down at her hands then back at him, trying to decide whether to believe him. He continued on, taking notice of her indecision. "Look Jude, I know I have messed up so many times with you. If I could, I would take it all back, but I think we both know that doing that doesn't go over too well." She nodded, knowing exactly what he was talking about. "So, it's up to you Jude. Can you forgive me for the times I have hurt you? Can you give me a chance to make it up to you?" He glanced at her, a furtive look in his eyes.

A silent moment passed between them and Tommy began to panic. He looked at Jude, wondering if he had lost her again. Suddenly she shifted her whole body, bringing her face so close to Tommy's that he could feel her warm breath. Her hand wrapped around the back of his neck, closing the finite space between them. Their lips connected as though magnetized. All of the pent up passion was channeled into that moment, sparks flying between them.

Jude pulled away, but only slightly. She was still close enough that Tommy could feel her crimson lips graze his as she whispered breathily. "I love you Tommy. I would forgive you a million times over. You are everything to me." This time Tommy closed the space between them. He captured her lips, pulling her into a tight embrace. He had wanted nothing more than to hear those words from her. It was the moment he had dreamed of, and he knew one thing for sure, he would never take it back.

After a long moment they parted, both breathing heavily. Jude looked up a Tommy, not sure what to say. It was a revelation that had no words. Instead they just stood in the fading light together, bodies intertwined. Warmth flooded her body, making her wonder whether she had ever been this happy.

Hours later the two were lying in Jude's hospital bed, soaked in moonlight. His arm wrapped around her waist and her head resting on his chest, they relaxed in comfortable silence. Tommy absently ran his hand up and down Jude's back, getting lost in the soothing motion. It was a moment that every romantic dreamed of, and they were living it. Tommy silently thanked the stars, knowing how lucky he was. He was holding the girl of his dreams.

"So, tomorrow…" Jude said, interrupting the quiet. Knowing Tommy would be by her side put her at ease, but still, she was curious. What would tomorrow bring for them? What would happen when they left their sanctuary?

"Tomorrow we enter the world as one." He kissed the back of her hand gently. "Because together we can get through anything." He closed his eyes, falling into a peaceful sleep soon after. Jude watched him sleep for a while before drifting off herself. Just before she did, his words echoed in her mind. _Together we can get through anything_.


	31. Return To Reality

Chapter 31 – Return To Reality

Jude's hospital room sat in perfect stillness, the only sound was that of gentle breathing of two people lying together in sleep. The scene was so angelic that even the nurses tiptoed around so as not to bother them.

The sun had long since risen when the gentle vibration of Tommy's cell phone interrupted the quiet perfection. He pressed ignore, not wanting to leave the moment, but the caller was persistent, calling back a second time. Tommy sighed, shifting out of his embrace with Jude. He was careful not to disturb her as he slid silently out of the bed. He mentally cursed his phone as he opened it up, greeting the caller in a hushed tone, the sound of sleep still evident in his voice.

"Hey, T. How is our girl today?" He glanced back at Jude who was smiling gently in her sleep. He loved watching her sleep.

"She's doing really well, D. She's still asleep, but I think she is ready to go back home. The doctor gave her the okay, so she will be checking out today." Tommy felt a pang in his heart. He was happy she was well enough to go home, but he liked this little world they had here. He could look after her here, protect her. The world seemed so dangerous these days.

"Look, Tom, there is something I wanted to warn you about." Darius sounded deathly serious, and Tommy could feel the anxiety growing in the pit of his stomach. He stayed silent, bracing himself for whatever Darius was about to tell him. "The press, they found out about the accident, T. We knew this was going to happen, but I had hoped Jude would be out of the hospital by then. They tracked her down and they are camped out at all of the exits. They are going to ambush you guys when you leave." Tommy walked over to the window quietly. Looking down, he swore silently at the sight of the vans from every Toronto station parked outside.

"There's more, Tom. The press has put a spin on the story, and it doesn't look good. It's going to be ugly Tom, I guarantee it." The line went silent as the words sunk into Tommy. "Just get her out of there as quickly as possible, and whatever you do, stay with her. This is going to be rough on her, T. Don't let her down." There was a hint of warning evident in his voice.

"I will never leave her alone again, D. You can count on that." He said, his tone completely serious. They said their goodbyes and Tommy snapped his phone shut. He glanced down at Jude who was completely oblivious to the reality that was waiting for her. He sat down next to her and silently hoped that he could help her through this.

Jude woke to find Tommy's intense blue eyes trained on her. He seemed to be in a daze, a faraway look in his eyes. He was focused on her, but his mind was elsewhere. Jude quietly reached for his hand, startling him with her touch.

"Good morning, girl." He said, putting a smile on his face. "Are you ready to go home?" She nodded, her face lighting up. She was more than ready. The two busied themselves with getting Jude's things together, gathering up the cards and flowers that were scattered around the room, as well as various items that Tommy had brought throughout the week.

An hour later, Sadie arrived to pick up Jude's things. Tommy was taking her home, but given the size of his viper, Jude's flower garden was not going to fit in the car with them. Sadie smiled brightly at her sister, but one look at her and Tommy could tell it was strained. She tossed him a cryptic look and Tommy knew she had seen the press downstairs. He glanced at her, questions in his eyes. 'How bad is it?' he mouthed to her as Jude hurried around the room. She dropped her gaze to her feet, biting her lip for a moment before meeting his gaze once again and letting her mouth form the words. 'Pretty bad.'

Jude was oblivious to the tension that had formed in both of their faces as she rushed around the room. She changed into the clothes that Sadie had brought her, commenting on how nice it was to wear something that had a back. She laughed lightly at her own humor as she shoved a few things into a duffel bag. She gave the flowers to Sadie, making her promise to hang the roses to dry. Sadie nodded, pulling Jude into a hug.

"I love you, Jude." She said with tears in her eyes. "I will see you when you get home." Reluctantly she let go, turning slowly toward the door. Just before she opened it, she turned back, looking directly at Tommy. "Take care of her." She said, a pleading look in her eyes.

Jude gave the closing door a confused look as she tried to figure out why her sister was acting so strangely. She shrugged, chalking it up to the emotional rollercoaster they had all been riding these last few days. She turned back to Tommy with a smile on her face.

"Ready to go boyfriend-person?" She loved the way it sounded in her mind, especially knowing that it was Tommy she was referring to. He smiled lightly, nodding his head. He captured her hand in his, intertwining their fingers and pulling her toward him. He wrapped her in a hug and quickly kissed her forehead before responding.

"Sure thing, big eyes. Let's go sign the papers so we can get you out of here. Everyone is dying to see you." They walked out of the room, leaving their miniature paradise behind.

Jude signed her release papers as well as a few autographs on her way out of the hospital. She thanked the doctor for everything, promising to take care of herself. Just before she made it to the elevator she saw a nurse pushing a wheel chair toward her.

"Ms. Harrison, it is hospital policy that every patient who stays at the hospital has to be escorted out in a wheel chair." She looked down timidly as Jude's jaw dropped and she vigorously shook her head.

"No. No way. I am not going to be wheeled out of here like some invalid. I am just fine, and I intend on walking out of here on my own two feet." She said, her face the portrait of determination. Tommy couldn't help but chuckle as Jude argued with the staff, eventually getting her way. They stepped into the elevator, Jude wearing a smug grin on her face. Tommy smiled back at her, glad to see the stubborn, strong willed part of Jude again. He had missed that.

The stood in silence, their hands intertwined as the floors counted down. Moments later the elevator dinged, signaling the lobby. The doors slid open quietly and Jude stepped forward. She looked up and stopped dead in her tracks, seeing the telltale flashes of the paparazzi. They were poised and ready on the other side of the sliding glass doors. Her grip tightened on Tommy's hand as he spun her around, pulling her into a hug. He squeezed her tightly before quietly speaking.

"Whatever happens out there Jude, I am right here. I will be right behind you the whole way." Jude nodded, taking a deep breath. She turned back around, silently praying that she was ready to face the world. A moment later she clenched her jaw and stepped through the door, coming face to face with her new reality.


	32. Read It In The Tabloids

Chapter 32 – Read It In The Tabloids

The cameras started flashing as soon as the door of the hospital opened. Even the quiet, normally deserted side door that Tommy had chosen for their escape was surrounded by people. Cameramen, anchors, reporters, and fans all crowded in toward her, trying to get a response.

"Jude, can you tell us anything about your stay in the hospital?"

"What about the recent tabloid scandals?"

"Are you and Mr. Quincy seeing one another?"

"What is your response to the recent accusations about your drinking problem?"

"Can you tell us about your car accident?"

"Is it true you are struggling with a drug addiction?"

The reporters bombarded her with questions, shoving microphones and cameras in her face. Jude shielded her eyes, doing her best to push through the crowd. Without answering any questions she made her way toward Tommy's car. Just as she saw the vibrant blue of her newfound sanctuary she heard something that stopped her in her tracks.

"Any comment on the reports that your car accident was a failed suicide attempt?"

Jude looked up in the direction that the question had come. Her eyes fell on a tall brunette holding a microphone toward her. _Suicide? What the hell?_ Jude thought as she tried to make sense of the situation. Moments later her confusion turned to anger as the realization of the accusation hit her. Her fists were clenched so tightly that she could feel her nails cutting into her skin. She shot a death glare at the woman, looking as though she might tackle her right then and there. She probably would have if she hadn't felt a hand on her shoulder in that moment.

Slowly she stepped out of the crowd of reporters, walking away without a sound. She got to Tommy's car, sliding quietly into the passenger's seat. The anger had dissipated, and by the time Tommy had driven around the corner, away from the watchful eyes of the press, Jude was in curled up into a ball, tears streaming silently down her face.

Tommy stopped a few blocks away, making sure no one had followed them. He parked the car and wrapped Jude in a hug. He rubbed her back gently as she rocked back and forth in the seat, her face still wet with tears. Not a word was spoken. Jude was speechless, which didn't happen often, and Tommy didn't know what to say. What could he really say at a moment like that? There were no words for it.

After a while Jude straightened up, wiping her eyes roughly. "Let's go." She said, glancing in Tommy's direction. "Let's go to G-Major." The ride was silent as Jude collected her thoughts and Tommy avoided his. He wondered now if he should have warned Jude about the press, let her know they had spun the story. He hadn't been expecting that, but at least he had been expecting something. Jude was blindsided.

As they pulled up to G-Major, Jude's eyes went wide. She jumped out of the car, running over to the newsstand. She scanned the tabloids, noticing every single one was about her. She grabbed several up, running through the glass doors of the record company. Tommy sighed, worried about Jude. He quickly paid the man for the newspapers and followed Jude into G-Major.

When he got inside he encountered an entire lobby full of shocked faces. They all silently pointed toward Studio A. Tommy stepped forward, seeing Jude through the glass. She was red in the face, tears streaming down. Her hands frantically tore at the pictures in her hands; pictures of her, headlines reading 'suicidal instant star' and 'fame leads to drinking, drugs, and depression.' She threw them in the air, picking up more and proceeding to repeat the process. Tommy could tell she was screaming, but you couldn't hear it through the soundproof glass.

Tentatively Tommy stepped forward, reaching for the handle of the door. He twisted it, but to no avail. She had locked the door. He stepped back, sighing. There was nothing he could do but wait. It was probably better that he didn't go in there. There was no telling what Jude was capable of when she was that angry.

Tommy sat down in the lobby, along with most of the G-Major staff. They all wore masks of emotion; sadness, sympathy, shock. After what seemed like hours, they heard the click of the studio door, all jumping up when they did. Jude stepped out, looking calm and poised.

"Let's record."


	33. In Response A Sensless Act Of Beauty

Chapter 33 – In Response A Senseless Act Of Beauty

Everyone stood staring at her, frozen in place. Jude let out a laugh inside of her mind. _Statues, they are all statues, little cardboard cutouts._ She stared back at them, waiting for one of them to move. Nobody did. Finally she threw up her hands in exasperation.

"Hello, earth to the rest of the world. I said let's record." She looked from one person to the other, waiting for a response.

"Jude." Darius started. "You've been through a lot today, maybe you should go home, try to get some rest. The studio isn't going anywhere." He stepped toward Jude, trying to reason with her.

"No, I want to record now." She looked around the room, her eyes meeting Tommy's. She shot him a desperate look, which didn't go unnoticed. He understood what she was doing, why she needed to record. She had channeled all of her emotion into whatever she was planning on recording, and if she didn't get it out, she was going to explode. He knew the feeling.

He moved behind her, speaking up on her behalf. "D, maybe it would be good to let her record. She obviously has something to say." He locked eyes with Darius, hoping he would understand. They all knew how Jude worked. Music was her release, and there was a whole lot that needed releasing.

"Okay." Darius said slowly, nodding his head. "Alright, you guys can work on whatever she has, but Tom, I want you to keep an eye on her. She doesn't need to be overworking herself on her first day out of the hospital." Tommy nodded, heading into the studio. Jude turned to follow him but turned back when she realized everyone else was still frozen in place.

"Kwest, are you coming? Spied, I need your help too." She turned again, disappearing into the studio. Kwest and Spied snapped out of their daze, following quickly behind. Once they were all inside, Jude closed they door, motioning for Spied to follow her into the sound booth. "I need you to play guitar for the song." She said as they disappeared into the soundproof room.

Tommy and Kwest watched as Jude explained to Spied what they were doing. He nodded, looking sort of surprised. Soon enough the look of surprise turned to a smile as he nodded in approval. It appeared that he liked the idea. Kwest busied himself setting up the sound board. Tommy on the other hand let his gaze drift around the small room. Beneath their feet were the torn pages of the tabloids. He gathered them all up, trying not to look at the pictures. He didn't need to see them; he just didn't want Jude to have to see them when she came back out later.

"They are ready." Kwest said suddenly. Tommy jerked his head up to see Spied and Jude positioned at the microphones, prepared to record. He nodded through the window at them and Jude nodded slightly in return. There was a determined look in her eyes that intrigued Tommy. He knew she could make great music when she was upset, and given the circumstances, Tommy was guessing that what she had was phenomenal.

He set the track, counting her down through the glass. When he reached zero Spied started in with the guitar. It was heavy, creating an edgy rock sound. Tommy nodded his head, liking the sound. It was different than her last few songs, but it was good. He opened his mouth to tell Kwest that he liked it, when Jude started singing. Tommy stopped, dropping his jaw at what he heard.

Haven't you heard?

Haven't you heard about me?

People love talkin'

About all the lies they see

They say I have too many issues

And problems to spare

I need therapy, rehab

Parents that care

But their answers don't matter

When their questions are wrong

They're putting me in categories

That I don't belong

These rumors about Addiction

Can't you see that they're fiction?

You don't know what you're sayin'

Don't realize you're playin'

With an ice cold fire

On this tightrope wire

And you're gonna fall

'Cause you don't know me at all

You try to explain my actions

But you don't know what I did

Base it all on assumptions

Of the things you think I hid

This whole thing is a joke

That gets bigger every day

You really think I'd kill myself

'Cause I'm afraid of what you'd say

Don't give yourself that much credit

It would be another lie

'Cause I don't give a damn

How I look in your eyes

These rumors about Addiction

Can't you see that they're fiction?

You don't know what you're sayin'

Don't realize you're playin'

With an ice cold fire

On this tightrope wire

And you're gonna fall

'Cause you don't know me at all

You seem to think I'd give it all up

Throw it all away

You just don't want to admit

That I'm here to stay

Haven't you heard?

Haven't you heard about me?

The chain of lies is broken

The truth has set me free

The music ended softer, though the powerful guitar was still in the background. Jude beamed in satisfaction. Spied wrapped her in a hug, congratulating her on the song. They bounded out of the sound booth and into the studio where Kwest and Tommy were still frozen in place, dumbfounded by what they had just experienced. They snapped out of it when Jude and Spied tackled them, asking for the disc. Kwest ejected it, handing it to Jude who was out the door in moments. She ran to Darius's office, not bothering to knock.

Darius stood up, annoyed that she hadn't knocked. The annoyance dissipated when he saw the smile on her face. It was a determined, defiant smile, the one that Jude gets when she has just given someone a piece of her mind. In her hands was a single disc which Darius assumed was her new song. She handed it to him, not saying a word. She didn't have to. He slipped it into the stereo, and just as he pressed play, the rest of G-Major ran into the room, anxious to see what was going on.

They all listened as Jude's song came out of the speakers. It was rough and unrehearsed, but it was powerful, raw, and amazing. Patsy nodded her head to the beat, liking the edgy sound. She put her arm around Jude, pulling her into a hug.

"I knew you had it in you!" Jude laughed, she was glad someone knew it was there, because honestly, until it came out, Jude hadn't even thought she could pull of that kind of sound.

"I love it Jude, just what you need to respond to the rumors. We will release it right away. This is a whole new level for you." Darius smiled warmly. He was glad to see Jude had put all of the anger to good use. He didn't want to see her break down again. It had killed him to see what she went through.

"I want to do an interview." Jude said, causing the whole room to go silent. They looked at her like she was insane. Tommy started to protest but Jude cut him off. "I want to do an interview and sing the song. I want the world to hear it straight from me. I want them to know exactly what I think about these rumors." She finished, her face a portrait of seriousness. No one tried to argue this time. Instead Darius picked up the phone, dialing a number quickly.

"Yeah, this is Darius Mills. How would you like to do an exclusive interview with Jude Harrison on Behind the Mic tomorrow?" He listened to the voice on the other end. "Yeah, that's great, she'll be there."


	34. Eyes of a Child

Chapter 34 – Eyes of a Child

The rest of Jude's day at G-Major was uneventful, much to everyone's relief. Jude rehearsed her song with the band, liking it more each time she sang it. It was her release. She sighed, happy that she was finally standing up for herself, taking charge of her life. It felt good. The fact that she was able to tell the media to kiss off at the same time made it that much sweeter. She smiled, feeling for the first time in weeks that things might work out. It wasn't going to be perfect, and it wasn't going to be easy, but it would work out.

"It's good to have you back dude, I mean Jude." Spied said, sitting down next to her. He playfully jabbed her with his elbow. They sat there for a moment, reveling in the quiet.

"It's good to be back." She said, nodding to herself. She had missed this; rehearsing with the band, hanging out, laughing at nothing in particular. She had been so caught up in what had been going wrong in her life that she had forgotten about all of the wonderful things the world had to offer.

The little things that made the whole crazy mess worthwhile. Sitting in the sound booth with her band, so engulfed in a song that she forgot where she was; holding a new song in her hands in the form of a shiny silver disc; the silent moment that comes right at the end of a live song, right before the crowd goes crazy. Those were the moments she missed.

"I'll see you tomorrow Harrison." Spied said, hopping up from the couch where they had been seated. "Wally's cousin is back in town." He winked at her before turning to leave.

"See you later." Jude called as he walked out the front door. She sat back, settling in. She had to wait for Tommy to finish his meeting with Darius. He was her ride home. Not that she minded. She wasn't anywhere near ready to get behind the wheel again. That was one demon she hadn't faced yet.

Lost in thought, Jude didn't notice Tommy until he sat down next to her. She smiled at his presence, taking him in completely. Her eyes drifted over his mouth, the corners of which were curved slightly up in a soft smile. She glanced at his ice blue eyes, dancing softly under the fluorescent lights. She breathed in his scent, a charming mix of cologne and soap. She marveled at how relaxed he looked sitting there next to her, as if there was no place in the world he would rather be. _There is nowhere in the world I would rather be_. She thought as Tommy wrapped his arm around her. She instinctively sank into his body, feeling his warmth.

"How about we get out of here, girl?" He said after a moment. She looked up at him, nodding her head.

"What do you have in mind?" She asked. Not that it really mattered to her. She didn't care what they did, as long as she was with Tommy.

"Well, I was going to head home, spend some time with Angie. I thought you might like to come." Jude was a little surprised; Tommy was offering to let her into the very core of his life, his family. "Angie wants to meet you. She really likes your music. She makes be turn it on whenever she gets ready to go to sleep."

"I'd love to." She said softly. Jude loved kids, which surprised a lot of people. It was just one of the many things that the world didn't know about the real Jude.

The two walked slowly out of the building, joining hands automatically. Being a couple came naturally to them. It was as though they had been together for years. In a sense, they had been. They just hadn't been ready to admit it yet.

The blue viper pulled up in front of Tommy's. Jude got out, glancing up at the house as she did. She saw the curtains move slightly, and a head full of curls disappear behind it. They strolled up the walk. Before they got to the door, it burst open. Angie ran out of the house and into Tommy's arms.

"Daddy!" She squealed in delight. "I missed you, Daddy." She wrapped her arms around his neck, giving him a big kiss on the cheek. She turned to Jude, her face lighting up even more. "You're the girl with the pretty voice. The one in all the pictures in Daddy's room." Tommy's face colored. He hadn't told Jude that he had pictures of her. She gave him an amused look. "You were asleep for a really long time. Do you feel better now?" She asked, her eyes full of concern.

"I sure am sweetie. You're Daddy took really good care of me." She winked at her, causing Angie to giggle loudly.

"I like you." Angie said simply. Jude smiled. That was why she liked kids. They were honest and straightforward; the complete opposite of pretty much everyone in the industry. The three walked back into the house, talking about everything from Angie's favorite color to why the sky is blue.

A few hours later Jude's cell phone rang. The number came up unavailable, Jude debated not answering it. Finally she gave in, flipping it open.

"Hello." She said, not sure how to address the person on the other end. A moment later however, she had forgotten about phone etiquette and was busy trying to understand what the caller was saying or rather screaming over the line.

"Jude Elizabeth Harrison, what in the hell is going on with you. Getting drunk? Doing drugs? Did you honestly try to kill yourself? I knew this music career was a bad idea." Her mother sounded furious, but at that point Jude was even more furious. Seeing that she needed some privacy, Tommy motioned her into his bedroom, closing the door so she would be alone.

"Where do you get off acting like you know what is going on in my life? Like you have any say in what I do?" Jude said, trying to keep her voice low. She didn't like yelling, especially at her mother, but she was angry.

"I am your mother, Jude. Like it or not, I am part of your life." Victoria shot back.

"You're right, you are my mother. The mother that left without so much as a good bye. The mother who didn't bother coming back. The mother who justified leaving by saying 'you don't need me anymore.' Well guess what mom, you are right, I don't need you anymore. I am just fine without you butting into my life." Her jaw clenched in defiance though there was no one in the room to see it.

"Jude, I deserve an explanation. I deserve to know the truth." She replied, determined to make her daughter listen, but Jude wasn't in the mood to play her mother's game.

"And I deserve a mother who will visit me in the hospital. I deserve to have a mother who cares. I guess we both lost out on something. I'm no longer a part of your life, so you are no longer a part of mine, which means that if you want to know the truth, you can find out along with the rest of the world, tomorrow on Behind the Mic." Jude ended, a strong sense of finality in her voice.

Her mother didn't say a word, but Jude knew she had gotten the message. They sat with silence building up between them until they finally muttered their goodbyes. Jude hung up the phone and sat down on the edge of the bed, her head in her hands. She hated that things were so bad between her and her mom, but she was having a hard time forgiving her. She had walked out when Jude needed her the most, and never looked back. She had crushed Jude, and she didn't know how to forgive that.

A soft knock at the door interrupted her thoughts. She sat up, roughly wiping the tears from her eyes. The door creaked open and Jude was surprised to see a pair of brown eyes staring back at her. She had expected the icy blue of Tommy's eyes. Angie climbed up on the bed next to Jude, trying to imitate her posture. She looked at Jude for a moment, noticing the tears in her eyes.

"What's wrong?" She asked, her eyes full of concern. It amazed Jude. She had only known Angie for a few hours and already she showed her more compassion than almost everyone else combined.

"I'm sad because I miss my mom. She went away a while ago and now I miss her." Jude said. It was the first time she admitted it to anyone, including herself. Angie looked at her with soft eyes, remembering her own mom.

"My mommy went away a long time ago too. I miss her, a lot and sometimes I feel like she doesn't love me, but you know what I do when I am sad?" She paused, but not long enough to make any guesses. "I think about how much Daddy loves me, and that makes me feel better." Angie smiled, sitting quietly beside Jude.

A few moments later Jude's eyes were dry and she had the beginnings of a gentle smile on her face. She gave Angie a big hug, telling her she was very good at making people feel better. Angie beamed with pride.

"Just like Daddy." She said. "Hey Jude?" She said, oblivious to the infamous reference to the Beatles. "Did Daddy's song help you feel better?" She looked up innocently, meeting Jude's confusion filled face.

"What?" Jude said, not sure what Angie was talking about. _A song?_ "What song sweetie?"

"The one he wrote while you were sleeping; the one about waking up. Did it make you feel better?"

_The angels sing beautiful songs. _


	35. To Serenade a Rainbow

Chapter 35 – To Serenade a Rainbow

"Daddy, will you turn on Jude's pretty music?" Angie said as Tommy tucked her in. Tommy smiled, an idea coming to his mind.

"I'll be right back baby." He walked out of the room quickly, in search of Jude. He found her in his music room, holding the picture of the two of them that he kept in there. It was one that the paparazzi had taken of the two of them working on her first song. The moment he had fallen in love with her. He walked up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. "My inspiration." She turned around, kissing him softly. He held her for a moment before opening his mouth again. "Would you mind helping me with something?" He asked, already knowing the answer.

"Sure, anything." She said, giving him a questioning look.

"Angie usually listens to your album when she goes to sleep, but I was thinking that maybe tonight you could sing to her. She would really love it." Jude's face lit up. A moment later an unreadable look passed through her eyes and she smiled deviously.

"Only if you sing with me." She said, wrapping her arms around his neck. He opened his mouth to protest, but she quickly covered it with her own, causing him to lose his train of thought. The kiss was soft and gentle; like a lullaby. They broke away and all he could do was nod his head. "Great." She said smiling and pulling him out of the room.

Angie was thrilled to find out that Jude was going to sing to her. She swore she was going to stay awake long enough to hear everyone of Jude's songs. Jude started out with white lines, Angie's favorite song. True to her word, Angie didn't falter, but after she sang There's Us, both Tommy and Jude noticed her eyes drooping. They started to sing pick up the pieces together, losing themselves in each other's eyes, when they finished, their gaze drifted to Angie's sleeping face. Tommy kissed her gently and they left the room, turning on the princess night light before they closed the door.

Jude and Tommy made their way back to the living room, sitting down together on the plush couch in the center of the room. They relaxed against one another, basking in the silence. Several minutes passed before Jude finally broke the silence.

"Did you sing to me in the hospital?" Jude asked, curious about the song. Jude wasn't sure if she was supposed to know about it, but she couldn't help wondering.

"Uh, yeah, actually I did." Tommy said, stumbling over his words slightly. He looked at her with a confused face. "How did you know?"

"Will you play it for me?" She asked quietly. He nodded his head tentatively. He got up, retrieving his guitar from the music room. He sat back down, taking a deep breath. He started to sing, closing his eyes and losing himself in the words. When he finished, he opened his eyes slowly, meeting the gaze of an awestruck Jude.

"Wow." She said quietly. [i It's not the angels that sing beautiful songs, it's Tommy. [/i "That was amazing." She touched his hand softly, feeling the electricity between them. Setting the guitar down, he pulled her into his arms. They spent the rest of the night just like that, lost in their moment of perfection.

The sun rose on Jude and Tommy sleeping soundly on the couch. He had his arms wrapped tightly around her and her head was resting on his chest. A soft giggle caused Jude to stir. She opened her eyes and found herself staring at the bright smiling face of Tommy's daughter. Jude slowly put her finger up to her lips, signaling Angie to be quiet while trying to stifle a slight giggle herself. The little girl clapped both hands over her mouth while she watched Jude untangle herself from Tommy's arms, taking care not to wake him.

When she had successfully gotten herself up off of the couch she looked back down at Tommy who was blissfully ignorant to what was going on around him. She tiptoed out of the room, motioning for Angie to follow her. They found their way to the kitchen, Jude turning around to face Angie as they did.

"Do you want to help me make breakfast for your daddy?" Jude said, bending down so that she would be at eye level with Angie.

"Really? I can help?" She said, excitement bubbling over. Jude nodded and led her into the kitchen opening up all of the cupboards until she found what she was looking for. They set about preparing breakfast, laughing and chattering all the while.

Tommy watched the scene from the doorway. Angie was standing on a chair, stirring a bowl of batter while Jude stood in front of the stove, flipping pancakes. They whispered between themselves, laughing together. It wasn't until Jude turned to set the table that she noticed Tommy.

"Good Morning!" She said, smiling brightly. Angie turned around on the chair, holding a batter covered spoon up in the air. Tommy couldn't help but laugh as he noticed that the spoon wasn't the only thing covered in batter.

"We made you pancakes daddy!" Angie said, climbing off of the chair and running up to him. "But they're not just pancakes daddy, they are special!" She giggled, feeling important about being in on the big secret.

"Oh yeah?" Tommy said, picking his batter covered daughter up and hugging her. "What makes them special?" He kissed her on the forehead and crossed the room to give Jude a quick kiss as well. Angie looked at Jude, as if asking if she could share the secret. Jude nodded and Angie put her hand up to Tommy's ear, whispering behind it. Tommy opened his eyes in mock surprise as she finished.

"Banana Pancakes?" He said, looking down at her. "My favorite!" He lifted her high up in the air, spinning her around. He set her down at the table, taking his seat as well. Jude set the fresh pancakes before them and the three dug in.

"So are you ready for today, girl?" Tommy said as they finished up. He gathered the dishes, loading them into the dishwasher. When he finished, he wrapped his arms around Jude, pulling her toward him.

"Yeah, I think I am." She said. She rested her head against his chest. "As long as I have you, I'm ready for anything."

"Well, let's get going then." He said, grabbing his keys off the counter and giving her one last kiss.


	36. The Sound of Truth

Chapter 36 – The Sound of Truth

"Check it out. We've got a special treat for you today on Behind the Mic. We have Jude Harrison here in the studio and she is ready to talk about that crazy little thing called fame. So Jude, as the reigning queen of the charts and the tabloids, everyone's eyes are on you. Are they seeing the real Jude?" The VJ asked, turning toward Jude. She took a deep breath, eyeing the audience.

"Absolutely not." Jude started, diving right into the topic. She bit her lip before continuing. "The real Jude makes mistakes. I'll be the first to admit that. I am seventeen years old and anything but perfect. I made a mistake, but the media made a bigger one. They printed pictures that they knew nothing about and reported on stories that have no factual base what so ever. They twisted events and tried to put a spin on everything they saw. Because of that, the public saw a side of me that doesn't exist. It's not the real me, and deep down, I think my fans know that." Jude finished, smiling brightly. She couldn't deny that it felt good. It was her chance to set the record straight.

"It sounds like you have a lot to say about the recent rumors and well, who wouldn't. But my question is; what do you do at a time like this? How do you get the truth out there?" The VJ asked, leading Jude right to where she wanted to be.

"Well, I did what I do best. I wrote a song." Jude said, anxious to unleash her newest song on the world.

"Let's hear it then." The VJ said, motioning toward the stage where SME was already set up and waiting. Jude took her place at the front of the stage. She nodded to the guys and the music started up. Soon the entire audience was enthralled with the song.

As the last notes sounded, Jude could hear her heart pounding in her chest. She looked up at Tommy, sitting in the crowd. Inhaling sharply she waited for the moment of silence to end. When it did, there was a thunder of applause as the audience stood, screaming out their praises.

"Well, I think the paparazzi are going to get the message loud and clear. What do you guys think?" He motioned to the audience, which jumped up and went crazy once again. "So Jude, can you break it down for us? What really went down?" The audience shifted their gaze to Jude who contemplated how to answer the question.

"I made a monumental error in judgment." She started, knowing that there was so much more to it. "Because of my bad choices, I ended up in a bad situation that was out of my control. It's something I regret everyday. I let my fans and myself down, and I will never forgive myself for that, but it's in the past, and I am using it to make myself stronger."

"What about the rumors about drugs, alcohol, and depression? Is there any truth to them?"

"No, I can assure you there is no truth to them whatsoever. I am very proud to say that I have never used any sort of drugs, and as for alcohol, that was a one time mistake. I don't condone what I did, but I can assure that it won't be happening again." Jude said, glancing back up at Tommy. He smiled reassuringly at her, nodding to indicate that she was doing well. Darius was in the back, nodding as well. He was impressed; she was really holding her own. She was growing up. "As for the suicide rumors, I have never been depressed, and I would never throw away everything I have worked for. It's been a long time coming and I intend to stick around. I wouldn't give this up for anything."

"Glad to hear it. You're the real thing, and the game wouldn't be the same without you. Thanks for coming in to talk to us. We're going to take a break but when we come back we will talk to Jude about the life of a superstar." With that, the VJ took a break, allowing Jude to jump off the stage and run over to Tommy. Darius met her there, a smile on his face.

"Nice Job Jude, you really pulled it off. I'm proud of you." He glanced between the two of them, noticing their hesitation. They still hadn't touched, worried about what Darius would think of making their relationship public. After a moment, he chuckled. "Aren't you going to congratulate your girlfriend?" He asked Tommy. They both looked at him with wide eyes. He laughed again, rolling his eyes at them. "You honestly think there is anyone here who doesn't already know? It's going to come up. You might as well make your debut right here. A lot of good publicity." He winked at them before walking away.

Tommy wrapped his arms around Jude, picking her up and spinning her around. "Are you ready to go public Miss Harrison?" He asked. She grinned up at him as he put her back down.

"I've always been ready." She gave him a quick kiss before rushing back to the stage. Tommy sat back down, beaming at the sight of his now official girlfriend on stage.

"So, we are back with Jude Harrison and ready to hear all about the perks of stardom. I can't help but notice you were pretty cozy with Tom Quincy, formerly from BoyzAttack. Is there romance brewing between you two?" Jude smiled without even noticing. She glanced up at the audience, catching Tommy's eyes for a moment.

"Tommy has been my rock through this whole crazy mess. He has been unbelievably supportive and I honestly don't know what I would do without him. We are really happy together." She beamed, feeling the elation of telling the whole world about their relationship. It may not have been shouting it from the roof tops, but it would do.

"There you have it; romance is in the air for Jude Harrison and Little Tommy Q. You heard it first here on Behind the Mic." Jude winced at the use of Tommy's hated nickname, but couldn't help but smile. They were official now, and it couldn't be sweeter.


	37. A Past and Future Secret

Chapter 37

_Hey Jude! _The headline read. Jude picked it up, rolling her eyes. Reporters could be so cheesy. A picture of her performance on Behind the Mic adorned the front page of the Toronto newspaper. The caption read; _Superstar bites back. _

Jude walked back into the house, picking up her coffee. She sat down on the couch, relaxing into the plush fabric. Tommy wouldn't be there to pick her up for another few minutes, so she had time to read the morning paper, or at least the newest celebrity gossip. She couldn't help but laugh when she thought of it like that.

It had been a week since the debut of her new single, and it had skyrocketed to the top of the charts. She was still the queen of the tabloids, but these days the stories were less about her past and more about her future. Since they had dropped the news about their relationship, Tommy and Jude had become the new "it" couple. Jude couldn't say she minded; how could anyone mind being on the cover of every tabloid in Canada with their incredibly hot producer and current boyfriend extraordinaire.

The doorbell rang and Jude jumped up to answer it. Tommy stood at the door with Starbucks in hand. Jude beamed, wrapping her arms around him.

"I can't believe that Darius wants us there at nine in the morning! Why can't he hold staff meetings in the evening?" She stuck her bottom lip out, pouting slightly. Tommy responded by leaning in to kiss her and nibbling slightly on her lip as he did. Jude let out a small moan as she leaned into the kiss, allowing Tommy to deepen it. He broke the kiss a few moments later, whispering quietly.

"Maybe we can sneak away afterwards. Angie is at preschool and my house is sitting there all empty and cold. It could use some warming up." His breath tickled the skin on Jude's neck, sending shivers down her spine. She couldn't formulate words at the moment so she replied to Tommy's proposition by leaning back on the couch and pulling Tommy with her.

"Meeting. G-Major." Tommy managed to formulate the words through his heavy breathing a few minutes later. He looked down at Jude who nodded, trying to slow her own breathing. They straightened themselves up and rushed out the door. They were going to be late as usual.

"Here's the woman of the hour now." Darius said as Jude and Tommy tried to sneak into the room. "Nice of you to join us." Jude gave everyone an apologetic look and sat down. Tommy stayed standing, an unreadable look passing between him and Darius.

"Now that everyone is here, we can begin. There is a specific reason I called you all here today, and that is to celebrate. I just got the sales stats in. You went double platinum girl!" Jude jumped up, unable to contain her excitement. She hugged everyone before practically tackling Tommy. "With you turning 18, you new single hitting number one, and your album going double platinum, we are going to throw you a massive party. It will be so big the Grammy's will look like a children's birthday party." Jude beamed, she knew Darius was serious. When Darius Mills had a party, you could bet it was going to be huge.

Everyone went back to their various tasks, still buzzing with the excitement. Tommy pulled Jude into the studio, shutting the door behind them. He pulled her close, kissing her softly. A few moments into the kiss Jude pulled back slightly, an amused look on her face.

"You know, if you wanted an impromptu make-out session, a room without windows might have been a better choice." Tommy laughed, nodding his head slightly.

"Yeah, it probably would have been, but this is the perfect place to give you this." He pulled a small black box out of his jacket pocket, holding it out to her. Jude took the box, feeling the plush velvet as she held it between her fingers. Slowly she pulled the box open, revealing a pair of stunning earrings. Jude gasped slightly, looking up at Tommy with wide eyes.

"Are they?" Jude started.

"Platinum, just like you." Tommy said, smiling down at Jude.

"Oh, Tommy, they are beautiful. I love them." She threw her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. Letting go, her fingers traced the delicate lines of the earrings. They were tiny platinum guitars, studded with diamonds. The metalwork was exquisite. Jude kissed Tommy, her smile beaming. There was a knock at the door. They turned around to see Kwest waiting rather impatiently outside.

"T, we need to finish that track we started last night." Tommy nodded and looked at Jude apologetically. Jude smiled, heading for the door.

"I'll just go show these to Sadie. She is going to die when she sees them." Jude disappeared leaving Kwest and Tommy to do their jobs. Tommy stared out the window briefly, swearing he could hear Sadie's squeal through the soundproof glass. He snapped back to reality, sitting down to work.

Two long hours later the track had been finalized and Tommy was thanking every omniscient being he could think of. He stood in the doorway, waiting to catch Jude's eye. He saw her look his way and motioned toward the back door. Ten minutes later Jude and Tommy were running down the alley in mock secrecy. 

Tommy leaned against the door, hearing it click shut behind him. He pulled Jude to him, their lips connecting electrically. A few moments later he was walking her backwards into the house. In their flurry of passion they ran into the entranceway table. Tommy vaguely heard the contents of the table clatter to the ground, but he paid no attention. The only thing on his mind was Jude.

By some stroke of luck, they made it to Tommy's bedroom without breaking anything. He picked her up, laying her down on the bed. Kissing down her neck, he ran his fingers along the edge of her shirt, his touch sending chills up her spine. She pulled him closer until they were practically one being. She pulled at his shirt, lifting it over his head. He hesitated before doing the same. They lost themselves in each others arms.

"Are you sure about this?" Tommy asked, pausing slightly. He wasn't sure how Jude felt about being with someone after what had happened. She nodded profusely. She had dreamed of this moment for nearly three years. There was nothing she would rather do.

Jude and Tommy laid in quiet reverie together. The moment they had shared was beyond anything that either of them had ever experienced. It was beautiful. The soft tone of white lines drifted through the air. Tommy moved slightly, realizing the sound was his phone. He picked it up, listening a moment before snapping it shut.

"That was Sophia." Tommy said, breaking the silence. "She and Angie are going to get some ice cream before they head home."

"That gives us just about enough time to clean up the hallway." Jude said, smiling as she remembered the fevered passion between them. Tommy laughed, reliving the same moment. They lazily pulled themselves off the bed, making their way towards the door to survey the damage.

There was nothing breakable on the table. Tommy had quickly learned where not to put breakable items in a house with a five year old. There was mail spread across the floor along with a picture of Jude and one of Angie. Tommy reached for the pictures as Jude gathered up the mail. As she set the mail back on the table she noticed a missed letter lodged between the wall and the leg of the table. Picking it up, the American flag in the corner caught her eye. She turned to Tommy, handing him the letter. He looked at it briefly, noticing the postage date as well as the return address. He swore softly before opening it.

Jude watched Tommy carefully, wondering who the letter was from. She was naturally curious, especially when it came to Tommy's past. Unfortunately for Jude, Tommy's past was like a book written in German, completely unreadable. Worry lines formed on her forehead as she watched the color drain from his face. He looked up from the letter, his eyes wide.

"What is it?" She asked, stepping forward. She put her hand on his shoulder and looked into his eyes. He dropped the letter onto the table, turning away from Jude so that she wouldn't see the tears forming in his eyes.

"It's Angie."


End file.
